Monday, March 4, 2013 The Batman Meanders!

A rather laid-back Masked Manhunter has turned up in northern England, ambling into a police station with an equally chill perp.  Some reports described this Batman as "portly", which brings back sad memories of trying to find school clothes in the designated fat kid section of Sears.  From the Guardian:

'Batman' delivers suspect to Bradford police

Mark Smith
Monday 4 March 2013 07.51 EST

If Bane or the Joker were planning on moving their criminal empires from Gotham City to Bradford, they might just think again after seeing these CCTV images from West Yorkshire police.

A man dressed as Batman – evoking, perhaps, the spirit of Del Boy and Rodney more than the sleek leather outfit of Christian Bale's latest incarnation – was caught on camera bringing a wanted man into police custody.

The caped crusader marched into Trafalgar House police station, in the south of the city, in the early hours of 25 February and handed over the suspected criminal, before disappearing into the night.

Police say they have no idea of the would-be superhero's identity, though they are playing down the prospect of a real-life costumed vigilante haunting the city's streets. It is understood the body language of the two men suggested they may have been known to each other, and there was no resistance from the suspect, who was later charged with handling stolen goods and fraud-related offences. He is due to appear at Bradford magistrates court on 8 March.

A West Yorkshire police spokesman said: "The person who brought the wanted man into the station was dressed in a full Batman outfit. His identity, however, remains unknown."

The mystery has fuelled speculation on Twitter as to the identity of Bradford's Bruce Wayne, with the Bradford West MP, George Galloway, moving swiftly to quash rumours that he had donned a lycra catsuit once again: "Contrary to rumours sweeping Gotham, I am not the Bradford Batman, However I take my hat off to him and wish him luck in the future."

Bookies are even offering odds of 3/1 on the caped crusader repeating his heroics before the year's end – and 5/1 that he'll be joined by his sidekick, Robin. Famous West Yorkshiremen in the frame include Alan Titchmarsh (8/1), the former footballer Dean Windass (6/1) and the TV magician Dynamo (5/1).

I hope someone took up the bookies on that bet, because within hours the caped crusader's identity was uncovered.  From Sky:

Batman: Bradford's Caped Crusader Unmasked

7:38pm UK, Monday 04 March 2013

The likely identity of Bradford's very own Batman has been revealed.

A mystery was sparked when an anonymous man dressed in a full Batman costume handed in a suspected burglar to officers at Trafalgar House police station in Bradford.

CCTV images were released by the police in the hope of tracking down the undercover superhero.

The pictures showed a caped crusader - fully clad with the comic hero's boots, gloves and logo across his chest - standing alongside a man in a red hooded sweatshirt.

West Yorkshire police have now revealed they think the man dressed as Batman is a friend of the man who was turned in, and later arrested.

The suspect is due to appear in court on March 8 charged with handling stolen goods and fraud-related offences.

A retailer in Bradford has also come forward to say she might have sold the man his Batman outfit a few days before the incident, which happened in the early hours of February 25.

Kathryn Sutcliffe, who runs The Joke Shop in Kirkgate Market, told BBC Radio 5 Live she remembered one customer because he wanted the 1960s Caped Crusader costume rather than the more recent Dark Knight version.

She said she only sold of couple of these older outfits every year.

Mrs Sutcliffe said: "He was quite a large guy and when I saw him on the CCTV I thought, 'he looks like a similar build'.

"I was quite busy at the time. I took it out, tried it against him and he said, 'oh yes, that's fine', and then he disappeared just as quick.

"He was in his 20s, dark brown hair, a bit of stubble and quite a nice-looking lad, really."

She said the man paid with a credit card, so she has a name, but she refused to reveal it.

Batman has been around as a fictional character since 1939, usually fighting crime in Gotham City.

In the original story his alter-ego was a billionaire philanthropist who decided to devote his life to fighting crime after his parents were both murdered.

What a rookie mistake!  Sure, not every town has a Paul Gambi or Leo Zelinsky handy.  But if you're going to get your costume off the rack, use the time-honored tactic of breaking into the shop when it's closed and leaving cash behind to pay for the suit and any damages.  And any would-be hero dumb enough to pay by credit card is better off exposed before he gets himself - or innocent civilians - killed.

That said, it seems that this "Batman" isn't keen on crimefighting as much as sorting out something personal.  I hope the rest of the details come out before the media lose interest in the story. 

Thursday, February 28, 2013 Sober People Everywhere Breathe Sigh of Relief as Sausage Costume Returned

I really wanna believe someone wore the outfit to fight crime.  But I know the thieves probably just got drunk and had sex in it.  From UPI:

Missing sausage costume recovered

MILWAUKEE, Feb. 28

The missing Klement's racing Italian Sausage costume -- which is featured at Milwaukee Brewers baseball games -- was anonymously dropped off at a Wisconsin bar.

The 7-foot-tall costume, named Guido -- was last seen Feb. 16, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported.

A witness saw the sausage walk out of a fundraiser at the Milwaukee Curling Club's in Cedarburg about 7:45 p.m., Cedarburg police Detective Jeff Vahsholtz said. The Italian sausage was later seen at TJ Ryan's bar in Cedarburg about hour later and also made an appearance around midnight at The Roadhouse Bar and Grill.

Just before 8 p.m. Wednesday, two men -- one wearing a hoodie pulled tight over his face -- dropped the costume off at TJ Ryan's and told staff, "You did not see anything," bartender Jen Mohney said.

"Like I didn't just see two guys plop a sausage on a bar stool," Mohney said, adding that the two left in less than a minute and she immediately called police.

The Famous Klement's Racing Sausages, which also include the Bratwurst, the Polish Sausage, the Hot Dog and the Chorizo, are regularly featured at Brewers games and recently appeared at the team's spring training in Arizona. The Brewers and Klement's each have a set of the costumes.

Remember kids, horrible ethnic stereotypes are A-OK in a food context!

 

Yeah, they've totally had sex in those costumes.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013 Beware the Cookie Monster!

Huzzah!  I have a new favorite real-life super-villain!  From the Telegraph:

German police hunt 'Cookie Monster' over theft of gold biscuit

German police have launched a hunt for the "Cookie Monster" after an iconic golden biscuit was stolen from one of the country's most famous biscuit makers.

By Matthew Day
3:00PM GMT 05 Feb 2013

An empty space marks the spot where, until earlier this month, the gilded bronze sculpture graced the facade of the cookie baker's Hanover office.

The symbol has disappeared and according to a ransom note sent to a German newspaper, the sign won't be returned until Bahlsen supplies cookies to all the rooms at a local children's hospital.

"I have the cookie! And you want it," the letter read, according to the Hannoversche Allgemeine Zeitung (HAZ) newspaper.

The letter - comprised in the traditional ransom note style of newspaper cuttings - is said to be signed by a "Cookie Monster".

The individual wants Bahlsen to supply the hospital with its Leibniz biscuits, preferably the whole milk variety.

Accompanying the note is a photo of someone wearing a Sesame Street-style costume and snaffling what appears to be the golden cookie.

Police are not sure if it is the same cookie, or a real claim of responsibility.

The real Cookie Monster has assured followers on Twitter that he is not the culprit. "Me no steal the golden cookie. But me willing to help find real cookie thief!" (http://t.co/CAdohpVu)

It is unclear how the symbol was taken, but police say witnesses reported having seen two men with a ladder in the area earlier this month.

The company had offered €1,000 for information leading to the cookie's recovery.

The biscuit baker has also pledged to give 52,000 packs of Leibniz biscuits to 52 social institutions if the golden cookie is returned.

Bahlsen assured HAZ that the events of the last few weeks were not a marketing campaign.

The local children's hospital has spoken out against the coercion.

"One cannot forget that what we are dealing with here is a case of theft and blackmail," a hospital spokesperson told HAZ. "Bahlsen has already done a lot for our hospital - it doesn't need to be coerced in this way." 

Cookie Monster's 'golden biscuit' found hanging from horse

A "golden biscuit" stolen from a German biscuit manufacturer by a thief claiming to be the Sesame Street character the Cookie Monster has been found hanging from an equine statue in Hanover.

By Matthew Day
3:00PM GMT 05 Feb 2013

German crime scene detectives in masks and rubber gloves, and aided by a fire brigade ladder, removed the 20 kilogram, biscuit-shaped ornament from a statue of a rearing horse outside Hanover's Leibniz University.

The case of the golden biscuit made international headlines when the "Cookie Monster" wrote a letter to Bahlsen, the owners of the sign and a household name in the world of German biscuits and a local paper saying that he had been responsible for its theft in mid-January.

If Bahlsen wanted to see the sign that had graced the exterior of their offices since 1913 again, the letter said, they would have to donate free biscuits to a children's hospital. A failure to comply would mean the sign would join Grouch, a rubbish-bin-dwelling Sesame Street character.

Werner Bahlsen, the company's chief executive, promised to donate 52,000 biscuit packets to 52 different organisations, including the hospital, if the sign was returned unscathed.

Just before the sign was found, a local newspaper received a second letter from the Cookie Monster saying that he would return it because "Werni" (Werner Bahlsen) was "crying because he misses it so much".

The letter was also accompanied by a photograph of somebody dressed as the Cookie Monster pretending to take a bite out of the golden biscuit.

Oh, I would so totally hench for this criminal genius!  It'd probably be the only time my Reubensque figure would be appropriate for cape and spandex shenanigans!

Saturday, December 1, 2012 Somebody Loan Me A Few Million Dollars

Because I want to buy the Batmobile.  From the LA Times:

Original Batmobile to go up for auction

By W.J. Hennigan
November 29, 2012, 6:00 a.m.

Holy hot rod, Batman!

The iconic Batmobile from the 1960s television show is going up for auction early next year.

The midnight-black and fluorescent-red-pinstriped car that Adam West's Batman used to battle villains in Gotham will be up for grabs Jan. 19 at Barrett-Jackson, the Scottsdale, Ariz., rare and classic auto auction house.

There is a reserve price for the car, but neither the auction house nor the car owner, famed car customizer George Barris, would confirm the lowest dollar amount they would accept. Plans for the sale were revealed at the L.A. Auto Show.

“Let's just say it's in the multimillions,” said Craig Jackson, chief executive of Barrett-Jackson. “The car is true Americana. It's hard to put a dollar figure on something like that.”

There's likely to be plenty of potential buyers. The one-of-a-kind 1955 Lincoln Futura concept car was originally created by a design team at Ford Motor Co.'s Lincoln styling department. The 19-foot-long, two-seat, bubble-topped grand touring car prototype was entirely hand-built in 1954 by Ghia Body Works in Turin, Italy, and unveiled in its original pearlescent “frost-blue” white paint finish in 1955 at the Chicago Auto Show.

In late 1965, 20th Century Fox Television and William Dozier's Greenway Productions tapped Barris to come up with a car to foil Batman's enemies. Barris said he transformed the Lincoln in just 15 days for $15,000. The heavily modified car, known around the world, was built at Barris' auto shop in North Hollywood.

Barris, who also made the Munster Koach and “Beverly Hillbillies” jalopy from the 1960s TV shows, turned out a monster.

The car features bulletproof plexiglass bubble windshields and the Bat Ray (dual 450-watt laser beams that blasted obstacles to bits). It also has a Bat-O-Meter, which identified the location of the bad guys, as well as oil squirters (fashioned from lawn sprinkler heads) to foil evildoers.

“I saw the script and it said, ‘Bang,' ‘Pow,' ‘Boom,'” Barris, now 87, said. “That's exactly what I wanted the car to do. I wanted it to be as big a character as the actors.”

Since the television show ended in 1968, the Batmobile has been on display at Barris Kustom Industries on Riverside Drive in a gallery. Selling the car is bittersweet for Barris. It's been his trademark for years. His cellphone's ring tone is a familiar theme song: “Na na na na na … Batman.”

“It's difficult to part with,” Barris said. “Whoever the lucky buyer is, I hope they have as much fun with it as I did.”

The reporter made a "Holy Something" joke. How hilarious and original.

Adam West gave me a fist-bump once.  I think that shows how deserving I am to be the owner of the original Batmobile  Donations can be sent care of this blog.

Friday, March 16, 2012 Slovak Batman Is Kinda Depressing

Reports of a Slovak Joker and Riddler have not been confirmed.  From Reuters via Yahoo:

"Batman" brings order to southern Slovak town

Reuters – Mon, Mar 12, 2012

DUNAJSKA STREDA, Slovakia (Reuters) - His utility belt might not be as well-equipped as the TV version and he hasn't had to fight Penguin's henchmen yet, but Zoltan Kohari has nailed the superhero look and grit needed to fight evil in the southern Slovak town of Dunajska Streda.

Dressed in his home-made, all-leather Batman costume with the bat symbol proudly displayed on his chest and pointy ears on his cowl, Kohari, 26, cleans the streets, helps old people out and calls the police when he sees something suspicious.

"I have decided to do good for the people. I take care of order and help clean up the environment so we can keep living on this planet," Kohari told Reuters.

There are some slight differences in the storylines of the real-life Kohari and fictional millionaire Bruce Wayne, the man behind the mask in Batman comic books, TV shows and films.

For one, Kohari is a real-life person, whose path to the side of truth, justice and a tidy neighborhood once strayed to the wrong side of the law.

The trained house painter spent eight months in jail last year and attempted suicide after he was released, before realizing he had a mission to make life in his community better.

Lacking a full-time job, he moved into a dilapidated concrete apartment block on the edge of town where he turned an empty apartment - with no electricity or running water -- into his very own Batcave from where he launches his street patrols.

Kohari's Batman impersonation follows the emergence of a trend in the United States, where ordinary citizens began donning superhero costumes and performing public services in the wake of Hollywood films such as "Kick Ass" and Woody Harrelson's "Defendor", which tell the tale of "real-life" superheroes.

Kohari says he never resorts to physical violence and some people in his town think he is a bit batty, but his neighbors said he is an honest and good man.

"He's had a tough life but he is very dependable and we like him. He helps us out, keeps an eye on public order, and he is a hero for my son and his schoolmates," said Jana Kocisova, a mother of two who lives in a neighboring apartment block.

So what's next for the Slovak superhero?

After tidying up and helping the elderly, Batman's next mission will be making sure bouncers at the local disco do not rough up visitors.

Despite the costume, this guy's not so much Batman as he is D-Man, a homeless superhero who turns up occasionally in Marvel comics.  Comparisons to movies like Defendor and Griff the Invisible seem apt as, like D-Man, the man seems to be haunted by demons from his past.  The redemption angle is also straight out of Hollywood, so maybe the poor guy will catch a break and somebody will pay him for the film rights.  He does have a great civilian name - "Zoltan" beats the crap outta "Bruce".

When I first saw his picture, I laughed at his poorly constructed mask.  Then I read that he was homeless and felt bad.

It is a pretty lame mask, though.

Thursday, February 23, 2012 Things I Found Looking For Something Else #11

Perfect for the cephalopod-themed villain in your life.

From artist Maximo Riera

Wednesday, February 8, 2012 Real Life Supervillians Suck #4

Reported all over, but I pulled the story from KCRA TV (Sacremento, California):

Police: 'Bombs' In Bank Robbery Are Apple Pies

Suspect Allegedly Stole Undisclosed Amount Of Cash, Left Behind Suspicious Package
2:07 pm PST February 4, 2012

SACRAMENTO; Calif. -- A man who police said robbed a downtown Sacramento bank claimed he had a bomb inside a fast food bag, which turned out to be apple pies from McDonalds.

Sacramento police said Daniel Hegwood walked into the Wells Fargo bank at Capitol Avenue and 30th Street about 1:15 p.m. Saturday.

Hegwood, 33, told a teller that he had a bomb and wanted cash, Sacramento police spokesman Andrew Pettit said.

"The suspect left a package at one of the teller windows and said there was a bomb inside. He got cash from the teller and fled on foot," Pettit said.

As Hegwood exited the bank, he left behind a bag that he said contained the bomb.

Officers spotted Hegwood about a block away in the Sutter Hospital parking garage. He was wearing a red backpack.

"There was money protruding from the backpack," Pettit said.

As officers tried to take Hegwood into custody, he claimed there was an explosive inside his backpack.

Police setup a perimeter and bomb technicians searched the backpack. They found only money and items belonging to Hegwood.

Meanwhile, the bag inside the bank that the man also claimed contained an explosive actually was two hot apple pies from McDonalds, police said.

Of course, longtime comics geeks know this isn't the first time fruit pies were used to pull a heist:

Tuesday, October 25, 2011 Spider-Highlander vs. the Broomstick

From the Daily News of Jacksonville, NC:

Spider-Man robbery foiled by clerks

October 19, 2011 1:43 PM
Lindell Kay - Daily News Staff

A would-be robber in a Spider-Man mask received a beating from store clerks early this morning when he tried to stick-up a local convenience store with a sword, Onslow County Sheriff Ed Brown said.

Dale Foughty, 56, of Wilmington Highway, has been charged by the Onslow County Sheriff's Office with attempted armed robbery, assault with a deadly weapon inflicting serious injury, and injury to personal property. His bond was set at $100,000.

Foughty, allegedly wearing a Spider-Man mask, stuck a Samurai sword a female clerk’s face and said “give me your money and I will not hurt you,” Onslow County Sheriff Ed Brown said in a news release.

Instead, the female clerk struck the suspect in the stomach with a broom handle.

“The store clerk then went into a total defense of her life and Spider-Man went into a total defense of his robbery attempt,” Brown said.

Another store clerk joined in the fight and Foughty was over powered.

“It was at this point the suspect dressed as Spider-Man had his mask ripped off and part of his ponytail hair ripped out,” Brown said. “The suspect, now unmasked, was just fighting to survive, got away and ran out of the store.”

An investigation led detectives to a nearby house where they found Foughty with a freshly shaven head, Brown said.

“His hair was all over a table in the living room but the suspect was unable to get rid of the lumps on his head that were left by the broom handle,” Brown said.

During booking, Foughty appeared sore from the beating he received by the clerks, Brown said.

Detectives are investigating whether today's botched robbery is linked to other recent Spider-Man hold-ups in Wilmington.

Key takeaway from this story: There have been other Spider-Man crimes in the area!  Why hasn't the nation been alerted?

Tuesday, October 18, 2011 This Week's Loose Ends

OM freaking G, I am never going to get through Z is for Zombie at this rate. I am watching the films at a fairly decent pace, but it's taking me forever to write up the entries and my schedule is a mess as it is.  Work has slowed down a little, but I'm worried that it's because it's not because I am caught up but because I am forgetting something really important. 

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Speaking of work, I had a fairly weird morning yesterday. As I was pulling out of the garage, I again spotted the woman who lurks in my alley. She's out there day and night, not smoking or texting or anything but just standing around.  It's getting pretty danged obvious that she's a lookout and there's a meth lab or something across the way from me.  Joy.

Once I was on the expressway, I was almost in an accident when some douche in a Scion cut me off right before the car now in front of him slams on the brakes. It was a very close call, followed almost immediately by another near miss when the pick-up truck behind me swerved around and across several lanes to cut-off the Scion in an apparent act of retaliation.

When I got to the parking lot, I was flagged down by a couple of guys who thought I worked there. It took some effort to convince them I didn't.

Finally, a couple of blocks from my office, I saw this:

A futile gesture from an aggrieved commuter, or a sign of some shadowy internecine struggle?

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My buddy Garz passed on a blog entry about supposed Mothman sightings in my own fair metropolis. The behavior of the critter in the first report seems less like that of John Keel's harbinger of doom and more like that of the Mad Gasser of Matoon.  Flying around in broad daylight, as in the second reported sighting, doesn't match up with the Mothman M.O. either.  Maybe it isn't an ultraterrestrial but an honest-to-gosh superhero or villain making the scene?  A geek can dream.

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While on the topic of superheroes (segues, kids - they're not just geek transport), I have been following the case of Phoenix Jones, self-styled superheroic defender of Seattle.  The links below have all the details, but essentially a member of the Real Life Superhero Movement was arrested for assault after using pepper spray on a small crowd.  Jones' claims he was breaking up a fight; the victims claim they were just dancing.  Luckily, Jones had a camera crew with him and the recording backed up his side of the story.  No charges were filed.

I'm glad nobody was seriously hurt, but I am convinced it's only a matter of time before someone is.  Take a look at Phoenix Jones' Wikipedia page.  It mentions a couple of incidents where Jones was attacked with a gun or knife, and a quick perusal of the linked articles turns up a couple more.  Crime-fighting is dangerous work even for police officers with their training and equipment and training and backup and, you know, training.  An enthusiastic amateur is looking for trouble in more ways than one. 

And even if these reports are just Jones puffing up his own reputation, it's still a worrying sign.  A central part of the superhero fantasy is putting  foot up evildoer ass.  At some point escorting old ladies through dark parking lots is not going to be satisfying enough.

I love comics and I had superheroic dreams of my own while growing up.  Part of me is thrilled that people are trying to bring those stories to life.  But the Real Life Superheros are walking a razor line.  They are trying to live out a fantasy that revolves around violent conflict, and their activities bring them into contact with people who are more than willing to indulge them in that violence.  Sooner or later, some would-be hero is going to get carried away and commit an actual assault.  Sooner rather than later, some would-be hero is going to get killed.

Links: Seattle's self-styled superhero arrested (CNN)
          Unmasked Seattle superhero vows to keep fighting crime (MSNBC)

Thursday, September 8, 2011 Real Life Supervillians Suck #3

Soooo disappointed that Pokey wasn't driving the getaway car. From Reuters:

Man dressed as Gumby tries to rob store

By Alex Dobuzinskis
LOS ANGELES | Thu Sep 8, 2011 11:14am EDT

(Reuters) - In the world of animated TV, it's no stretch to say that good-natured Gumby is far down the list of characters that would commit armed robbery.

But a man clad in a full-figured Gumby costume has made a botched attempt to rob a 7-Eleven store in California, and authorities are looking for the suspect, police said on Wednesday.

It happened early on Monday when the man came into the San Diego store dressed as the green claymation figure, accompanied by an ordinarily dressed accomplice, San Diego Police spokesman Detective Gary Hassen said.

The costumed man announced he was robbing the store, but the clerk thought it was a joke, police said.

"Gumby said, 'You don't think it's a robbery? Let me show you my gun,'" Hassen said.

The suspect then tried to reach into his Gumby outfit but experienced a "costume malfunction" and could not fit his hand in a pocket, he said.

Instead of a gun, the costumed suspect pulled out 26 cents in change which he dropped on the floor, police said.

The accomplice, who had left the store and gotten into a minivan, honked at the man dressed as Gumby. He, too, walked out of the store without managing to take any money, police said. Both men left in the minivan.

After their getaway, the store clerk was still not certain an attempted robbery had occurred and did not call police. The store manager, who arrived later that morning, reported the incident.

Police were treating the episode, which was captured on surveillance video, as an attempted robbery and not a prank, Hassen said.

Gumby, a green humanoid figure who looks like an elastic stick of gum with limbs, was created in the 1950s by the late Art Clokey and his wife, Ruth. Gumby had a sidekick, the talking orange horse Pokey.

YouTube has video. Of course.

Props for the entrance. He got everyone's attention focused on him in classic supervillain style. But it all went down in flames from there. Not only did Gumby not get away with any money, not only did he completely fail to even get the robbery started, but he left money of his own at the scene! That's the exact opposite of what a heist should be! It's beyond pathetic!

Any costumed criminals operating in San Diego - and I know you're out there - owe it to themselves to track down this loser and deal with him in the name of community pride.

Monday, June 13, 2011 You Light Up My Life - From the Inside

Suddenly, Cyclops is no longer the least plausible X-Man. From BBC News:

Laser is produced by a living cell
By Jason Palmer
12 June 2011 Last updated at 20:42 ET

A single living cell has been coaxed into producing laser light, researchers report in Nature Photonics.

The technique starts by engineering a cell that can produce a light-emitting protein that was first obtained from glowing jellyfish.

Flooding the resulting cells with weak blue light causes them to emit directed, green laser light.

The work may have applications in improved microscope imaging and light-based therapies.

Laser light differs from normal light in that it is of a narrow band of colours, with the light waves all oscillating together in synchrony.

Most modern forms use carefully engineered solid materials to produce lasers in everything from supermarket scanners to DVD players to industrial robots.

The new work, by Malte Gather and Seok Hyun Yun at the Wellman Center for Photomedicine at Massachusetts General Hospital in the US, marks the first time the phenomenon has been seen in a living system.

The pair used green fluorescent protein (GFP) as the laser's "gain medium", where light amplification takes place.

GFP is a well-studied molecule, first isolated from jellyfish, that has revolutionised biology by acting as a custom-made "torch" that can light up living systems on command.

In the new work, cells derived from human kidney cells were genetically engineered to produce GFP.

The cells were then placed one at a time between two tiny mirrors, just 20 millionths of a metre across, which acted as the "laser cavity" in which light could bounce many times through the cell.

Upon bathing the cell with blue light, it could be seen to emit directed and intense green laser light.

The cells remained alive throughout and after the process. The authors note in an accompanying interview in the journal that the living system is a "self-healing" laser; if the light-emitting proteins are destroyed in the process, the cell will simply produce more.

"In cellular sensing, we may be able to detect intracellular processes with unprecedented sensitivity," they said.

"For light-based therapeutics, diagnosis and imaging, people think about how to deliver emission from an external laser source deep into tissue. Now we can approach this problem in another way: by amplifying light in the tissue (itself)."

Lab rats with laser eyes are not too far off, so start upgrading your lair's defenses now.

Sunday, June 12, 2011 Carry-On Thuggage

Yet another real-life supervillian with underwhelming powers! Originally heard on Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me, print story from Time:

Spain: Contortionist Thief Hid in Suitcase

By AP/DANIEL WOOLLS
Thursday, June 09, 2011

(MADRID) — A man was arrested in Spain after curling himself up inside a large suitcase that was placed in an airport bus cargo bay and sneaking out to steal from other people's luggage, police said Thursday.

The man arrested last week was 5'10" (1.78 meters) tall and very thin, a police official in the northeastern Catalonia region said. An accomplice was also arrested.

The suspects were successful on several occasions before being caught, the police official said on condition of anonymity because of department rules. The accomplice would place the contortionist thief inside the cargo bay of a bus running from the airport in the city of Girona south to Barcelona, board the bus and then retrieve him at the end of the line.

During the 60-mile (100-kilometer) ride, the man would slip out of the suitcase and use a sharp object to pick locks or open zippers to get into other people's luggage.

Police were alerted by bus riders who reported items stolen from their baggage.

Such a lot of trouble for petty larceny. That Gingold addiction must be a bitch.

"Casual Fridays" My Iron Ass!

All over the place, but MicGadget has all sorts of cool pics:

ZTE Employee Builds Ultra-realistic Homemade Iron Man Suit
By Chris Chang
Posted Jun 10, 2011 at 8:39 AM

We can’t believe this. A super smart Chinese man from Chinese telecommunications equipment maker ZTE spent 3,000 yuan (about $460) and 3 months time to built an ultra-realistic Iron Man suit. Wearing the super cool armor, Wang stuns his office colleagues in the ZTE campus in Shanghai. Video after the jump, and his unbelievable diary of making the suit.

The 25-year-old creator, Wang XiaoKang, became a big fan of Iron Man since the release of Iron Man movie in 2008, and he was inspired to build the awesome gadgets — the Iron Man helmet, arc reactor and repulsor arm. He started from searching information from Google (not Baidu), and he found a forum which talks about props. Then, he went searching for behind-the-scenes of the Iron Man movie, and watched the Blu-ray version everyday. And finally, he came out with this.

Wang has no experience on DIY at all, and he only has basic tools at home, such as pliers, tapes, scissors, and two tin boxes from IKEA. And Wang somehow worked it out with those basic tools, of course, he purchased other materials and LED bulbs to complete the project. And in 2010, Wang improved the mask, and built a repulsor arm. He wanted to be Iron Man.

Wang drew sketches, and spent most of his time in his workshop.

---

Previously, we have seen a Chinese netizen making an arc reactor knockoff, but there’s no suit at all. So, this Mark I suit weighs 110 pounds and cost 3,000 yuan ($460) to make. All the LEDs and the motors that drive the arc reactor and the fan have their own batteries hidden within the suit’s large frame. Well, Wang’s take on the movie’s Iron Man Mark I suit could easily frighten a supervillain. And this is not the end. Wang is now planning to get back to his Mark III project!

Clearly, this guy needs to team up with Troy Hurtubise - and fight crime!

Friday, May 13, 2011 Batman Busted

I'm not gonna do a "Holy!" joke. I'm just not.

From Reuters:

Police nab armed "Batman" in small Michigan town
Wed May 11, 2011 8:25pm EDT

DETROIT (Reuters) - A man dressed as Batman was arrested on Wednesday after police in a small Michigan town found him hanging off the side of a building and carrying concealed weapons including a baton and a can of chemical irritant spray.

Police in Petoskey, in northwest Michigan, received a call reporting that a man dressed as Batman, a comic book hero and the subject of a number of blockbuster movies, was on the roof of a building in the center of the town of about 6,000 people.

Officers found Mark Wayne Williams, 31, hanging off the western wall of the building. They pulled him back onto the roof and found he was carrying the baton, spray and a pair of lead-lined gloves.

Williams was charged with several counts of carrying concealed weapons, one count of carrying a gas-ejecting weapon and another count of creating a disturbance, said John Calabrese, public safety chief in Petoskey.

"He really didn't offer us any explanation," Calabrese said when asked why Williams was in costume. "Our officers did not interrogate him at any length."

Calabrese said it was not the first time Williams has appeared in public in costume. A few years ago, he caught the attention of police by dressing as the Crow, a figure from a graphic novel.

For some reason, that last sentence cracks me up.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011 When Ninjas Attack!

It's Ninja Season!

From the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:

Armed man fends off sword-wielding 'ninja' in South Union
By Margaret Harding
Monday, April 25, 2011

A Fayette County man attacked by a "ninja" with a sword quickly ended the encounter by pulling a gun.

"The only word that comes to mind is, 'seriously?'" Santino Guzzo, 29, of South Union said today. "I know this isn't a laughing matter, but how many people get attacked by a ninja? Really, a ninja?"

State police are searching for the man, who Guzzo described as wearing a "ninja outfit literally from head to toe." Police said he broke into 11 cars on Braddock Avenue and tried to stab Guzzo with his sword nearby.

Guzzo said he pulled his gun and the man broke the rear window of Guzzo's car as he ran off. Guzzo said he chased the man, who did not move with the grace typically associated with a ninja.

"He was like a gazelle that just got attacked by a lion," Guzzo said. "He got up and fell, and got up and fell. Then he jumped off a cliff."

Guzzo lost track of him after he jumped. Anyone with information was asked to call Trooper Robert Reitler at 724-439-7111.

Guzzo said he will not live in fear of the ninja`s return.

"I'm a firm believer in my Second Amendment rights," he said.

From WPXI Pittsburgh (obviously home to a secret ninja academy):

Dad Denies Playing Ninja When Son, 4, Alone
2:50 pm EDT March 16, 2011
Updated: 11:21 am EDT March 17, 2011

SCOTTDALE, Pa. -- A Westmoreland County man denied he was outside running around pretending to be a ninja, but acknowledges he did leave his 4-year-old son home alone sleeping while he went jogging earlier this month.

Ross Hurst, 28, remains in the Westmoreland County Prison after his preliminary hearing on a child endangerment charge was postponed Wednesday.

Outside the courtroom, Hurst told Channel 11 News that he wasn't pretending to be a ninja when Scottdale police charged him March 3 at about 1:30 a.m.

But police insist Hurst was dressed all in black and "playing ninja" when they confronted him. They said Hurst claimed his mother was babysitting, but she told police she wasn't.

"Oh, it was a big misunderstanding. I wasn't playing ninja," said Hurst. "I wasn't playing anything. I went out for a jog. I told the cops that, but they didn't believe me. It was a mistake. I'm not disputing that."

Hurst also faces terroristic threat charges for an incident prior to the March 3 incident. Police said he threatened to kill his former friend's pregnant wife.

"She was 8 1/2 months pregnant at the time, and he told her he was going to cut her throat and kill everyone in the family. It was just too much and after I heard about that thing about wandering the streets dressed up like a ninja, it's something you really have to take seriously," said Justin Jellots, who called police.

"I had been drinking and I was angry. I don't remember what I said, but apparently I called him and I'm going to get through all this and be a better person," Hurst said.

Hurst's wife said they've been separated for "a while." She is caring for their son.

Hurst is scheduled to appear in court on March 30 for a hearing on both cases.

From the BBC (video at the site):

'Ninja' protecting Kent spa town of Tunbridge Wells
26 April 2011 Last updated at 11:13 ET

A masked vigilante has taken to the streets of Royal Tunbridge Wells to protect "ordinary citizens".

The "Neighbourhood Ninja" claims to be a 25-year-old who has tackled garage break-ins and conducted night patrols.

The vigilante, who has so far remained anonymous, is posting his exploits in the Kent spa town on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

He also says he has reunited missing cats with their owners and warned drivers when they risk parking fines.

Places under official "Ninja Watch" are said to include Homebase, the Bedford Pub, and the Royal Victoria Place shopping centre.

And the Neighbourhood Ninja even claims to be keeping an eye on this week's royal wedding.

In one tweet, he wrote: "Don't worry Chief Inspector of Kent Police, you have nothing to fear from me, I am on your side. I'll leave my nunchuks at home."

He has also said he is "bringing the community together" and could even be looking to recruit more ninjas.

A Kent Police spokeswoman said the force was not aware of the Neighbourhood Ninja and warned residents they should not take the law into their own hands.

At least someone's using their l33t martial arts skills for the common good!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010 Close, But No (Lethal Exploding) Cigar

From yesterday's USA Today (USA Yesterday?):

Pa. woman guilty in fatal 'pizza bomber' bank robbery

Nov 01, 2010

A federal jury has convicted a 61-year-old Erie, Pa., woman for a 2003 bank robbery in which she outfitted an accomplice with a collar bomb that later killed him.

Marjorie Diehl-Armstrong was convicted of criminal conspiracy, bank robbery and using a weapon during a crime of violence in the so- called pizza bomber case. She will be sentenced Feb. 28 to life in prison plus 30 years.

She was accused of plotting to rob a PNC branch with several others, including pizza deliveryman Brian Wells, who walked into the bank carrying a shotgun fashioned to look like a cane and with an explosive device locked around his chest and neck. He fled with more than $8,000 but was apprehended soon after. The device exploded while he was handcuffed and state police waited for the bomb squad, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette explains.

Wells, who was 46, was named as an unindicted co-conspirator. His family doesn't believe he was part of the plot and was instead murdered. Last week, his brother called the proceedings "a circus show trial."

Diehl-Armstrong has been in prison since 2005 for pleading guilty but mentally ill in the shooting death of her boyfriend, and earlier this year she was diagnosed with cancer and given three to seven years to live, GoErie reports.

Other sources are claiming that Diehl-Armstrong's murdered boyfriend was one of the co-conspirators, and that a fourth man who may have been involved has since died of cancer. Wikipedia has more info on the case in their article on the victim, Brian Wells, including a picture of the shotgun cane.

A note found on Wells had instructions for him to carry out four tasks — the first of which was the bank robbery — in a set period of time before the bomb went off. Wells would gain extra time with the completion of each task. However, it was later determined that regardless of what had unfolded, Wells would never have had enough time to complete the tasks to get the bomb defused.

I have to give mad props to the woman for fully embracing her inner criminal mastermind. Deathtraps and gadget guns and mindgames - fabulous. However, I can't decide if she took things too far, or not far enough.

First off, she used the bomb collar on one of her own minions. Big mistake. There's this thing called "known associates" that really help law enforcement types track down everyone involved with a crime, which is a major reason why bad guys in the movies always grab some random schlub off the street for this sort of plot. Even if your mark is terrified for his life, there's still a chance he might accidentally blurt out something that will lead the cops straight to your door, so less he knows about you the better.

Her second mistake was bumping off members of her gang, as killing subordinates who displease you only works in media. There, when henchmen see one of their own get whacked for making a simple mistakes, they become more motivated. In real life, they turn state's evidence. Which is exactly what happened here. Betraying the "pizza bomber" was bad enough, but dispatching your own lover sends the message that no one is safe.

The trickiest part of a bank robbery is the escape. Any fool can march into a bank waving a gun and be rewarded with cash for his efforts, but getting back home with the loot is another thing entirely. The police will no doubt have video footage of the getaway vehicle and the longer it spends farting around town the better the chance they have of catching up with it. Which is why complicating things with a series of timed tasks is a huge error, unless number one on the list is dropping off the money at a safe location. I mean, I liked Die Hard 3 as much as the next guy, but get the cash in your hands before you start making the puppets dance to your tune.

So in conclusion, I applaud the sheer supervillany on display here, but the execution left a little to be desired. Fortunately, the perpetrator will have plenty of time in prison to reflect on her mistakes and perfect her next criminal scheme, which she will no doubt implement as soon as her cyborg gorillas spring her from jail.

Thursday, October 14, 2010 Brides of Kung Fu

While this story has been picked up by many news outlets - naturally! - they all seem to originate with Orange UK:

Kung fu sisters challenge suitors

A pair of kung fu sisters have given traditional dating the chop - to hold a challenge tournament where only the survivors will get the chance to date them.

Marital arts experts Xiao Lin, 22, and little sister Yin, 21, are to stage a three day fighting festival in Foushan, south east China, where only the toughest suitors stand a chance of getting through.

First contestants must show off their archery skills, then they must carry a heavy weight over sharpened bamboo spears, and finally they have to defeat one of the sisters in full contact combat.

Only then will contestants earn the right to remove the girls' masks and propose to them.

"They can chose open hand or any weapon they wish but we won't be holding back. If they can't beat us they aren't worthy," explained Lin.

"We tried dating agencies but the men we met were all too weak. We could beat them easily," said Yin.

"So we went back to ancient ways called Bi Wu Zhao Qin - which was the way warrior princesses would find their men."

But so far, only a trickle of brave contestants has come forward.

"I'm a very good martial artist - but I think I'd want to see them with the masks off before I decided whether I wanted to fight for them," said one doubtful suitor.

No mention of when or exactly where this tourney will be held, which along with the fact that all the news reports are pretty much parroting the one source strongly indicates that this is a big ol' hoax. Which really really sucks because I really really want to live in a world in which this kind of thing actually happens. Even if my archery skills stink.

Monday, October 4, 2010 Who Watches the Watchman?

Ah, facial hair - the weak-chinned hero's bestest friend! From Sunday's Milwaukee, WI Journal Sentinel:

Riverwest has real-life masked avenger

He calls himself the Watchman. Armed with a flashlight, pepper spray and a cell phone, he spends his weekend evenings hunting out suspicious activity in Riverwest.
He's hitting the streets to root out injustice - without superpowers

By Mike De Sisti
Oct. 3, 2010

When the two main loves in your life are helping people and reading comic books, the call is loud and clear: Become a superhero.

He calls himself the Watchman. He won't give his real name.

His identity is obscured by a bright red mask that covers half his goateed face. He wears black boots, black pants, black leather gloves and a black trench coat, but there's a large yellow circle on the chest of his black hooded sweatshirt, with a big W.

"I'm what people refer to as a real-life superhero," he says.

By night, on weekends, he patrols Milwaukee's Riverwest neighborhood, looking for injustice and evildoers. By day? That's a mystery.

"While most reactions to what I do are positive, there are a few negative responses," he explains, adding that the disguise protects his family - a wife and two young sons - from any of that. "I'm the one who decided to do this, not them," he says. "They should not have to suffer for it."

For him, it's not about fulfilling a childhood fantasy, or getting the attention of late-night bar patrons.

"Somebody needs to do something," explains the Watchman, who contemplated becoming a police officer before donning his mask.

"There's something everybody can do to make the world a little bit better," he says.

So the 6-foot, 200-pound, 30-something crime fighter patrols Riverwest in costume, with a flashlight and pepper spray on hand - and a black Motorola cell phone as his weapon of choice.

"It's about reporting it," he says. "Contacting police, or getting an ambulance out here if it's a medical situation."

As for super powers? None, he says. "I'm just a guy. I may look a little funny, but I'm just a guy. And I'm out here to let everybody know that they can do their part."

He's not the only guy. The Watchman belongs to the Great Lakes Heroes Guild. "We combine resources, work together and share information," he says.

Milwaukee area freelance writer Tea Krulos is chronicling him and others like him around the nation.

"Heroes in the Night: Inside the Real Life Superhero Movement" is a book Krulos hopes to self-publish by December or January.

"I think one of the most interesting things about this story is that most of the guys are pretty normal," Krulos says. "They're just sick of sitting around watching TV. They want to go out and do something, even if it is a small act, to make their community a better place."

But on a typical night in the Riverwest area, the Watchman needs no book to draw attention. The mysterious red mask does the trick as reactions from mortals come throughout the night.

Patrick Georgeson is hanging out with a few friends in his garage as the Watchman makes his rounds. "I've seen him around here before," says Georgeson.

His friend Meghan Bundy chimes in: "It's awesome to know we have a little Batman here."

"I really think he actually cares." Georgeson says. "There's enough stuff that goes on in this neighborhood that I've seen. . . . If there's one more person looking out for it, it's probably a good thing."

Looking out for people is what the Watchman plans on doing for a long time to come.

"In some form or another, I will do this for the rest of my life."

Video at the site. The Watchman really needs to work on his hero voice. His sidekick, who is obviously trying to rock the "mysterious avenger" angle, was smart enough to stay silent for the camera.

The whole "real-life supers" thing is interesting, as there are striking parallels to the "mystery man" craze in The Watchmen. As in the comic, for most participants it's just a chance to dress up, hang out, and get a little attention. But again like in the comic, there is a minority that fully embrace the concept and try to help people. The fad has the potential to go into fascinating directions, but I can't help feeling that it's all going to end up just as badly as it did in the graphic novel.

I'd be curious to learn the average length of time would-be superheroes stick with their patrolling. I've a gut feeling that these men and women can be split into two groups, those who quickly drop their patrols but hang onto their heroic personae, and those who keep up the activity but lose the costumes. As we see in the video that accompanied this news story, hero patrols often attract non-costumed participants. I can't help thinking that the camaraderie of an organized neighborhood watch combined with the satisfaction of helping the community would soon lead to the costumed identity being discarded.

Okay, except for maybe the crazies. If anyone's gonna kick-start this into full-fledged four-color madness, it's them.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010 You Will Believe a Man Can Fall

A reminder to be discreet while testing out your new superpowers. From MSNBC:

Witnesses: Person falls from sky, then vanishes

'There's no doubt that it was a person. We're 100 percent sure,' witness says
updated 9/16/2010 12:10:05 PM ET

Several people in New Jersey claimed they saw a person falling from the sky with no parachute, but an extensive police search has turned up no evidence, NBC Philadelphia reported.

Witness Kelly Hale and two of her co-workers at Shore Veterinarians in Egg Harbor Township said they watched from their office windows as a human fell head-first from the sky on Tuesday.

But there were no reports of missing skydivers.

"I [saw] the guy falling, at an angle, like this," Hale told NBC Philadelphia while gesturing. "Straight down. No parachute. No paraglider."

Authorities were still investigating the incident, Egg Harbor police told msnbc.com on Thursday.

"We're not actively out there searching, but we're waiting for more information," said police Sgt. Robert Gray. He could not comment on the ongoing investigation.

Several people contacted Egg Harbor Township Police at about 3:20 p.m. Tuesday, saying that they watched a person free-falling from the sky. The witnesses described the person as falling head first, at a slight angle, toward the ground, police said.

"You could see the arms and legs flailing and his clothes were blue, a dark blue like a navy, black and gray," Hale said. "There's no doubt that it was a person. We're 100 percent sure."

The witnesses also told NBC Philadelphia they saw a small plane flying nearby right after they saw the person plunging to the ground.

Egg Harbor Township police and aviation units of the Coast Guard and New Jersey State Police extensively searched the heavily wooded area until about 11 a.m. Wednesday. The search will remain suspended until further information becomes available, police said.

"We didn't see any signs of debris, we didn't see any broken branches of something like, falling through the tree-line," Coast Guard Lt. Commander Paul Whitmore said. "We didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but that's not to say it didn't happen."

Hale, for one, is convinced of what she saw. "They need to find him," she said. "I mean, there's somebody lying back there.

Monday, August 30, 2010 British Museum Mystery

From the BBC:

British Museum alert will remain mystery

29 August 2010 Last updated at 08:58 ET

The British Museum has reopened after a suspected noxious substance left visitors with irritated eyes and throats, as managers admitted the cause of the scare will remain a mystery.At least 8,000 people were evacuated from the British Museum on Saturday after what was described as a "gas" incident.

Police and the fire brigade moved in but have been unable to identify the cause.

Nobody was injured during the incident.

A British Museum spokeswoman said: "The fire brigade conducted a full search but could not find anything.

"They declared the site safe and handed back control of the museum at 5pm."

She continued: "The answer won't ever be known for sure.

"It was just a strange one-off incident."

A London Fire Brigade spokesman said: "When we arrived we used our equipment to carry out very extensive checks.

"We were there for about four hours. But we did not get any readings."

The spokesman added: "People may well have smelt something but it dispersed before we got there."

Mass panics are nothing new, though most reports we get these days typically involve schoolgirls and/or the developing world. There was a case in the US a couple of years back where a spritz of perfume set off fears of gas attacks, and I wonder if a similar cause wasn't at work here as well.

On the other hand, this is exactly the kind of thing a brilliant criminal mastermind might engineer if he needed some alone time with an exhibit. No fatalities means no follow-up investigation, so you can swap out some rare artifact with a cunning copy or resurrect the mummy of the Princess of Amen-Ra without anyone being the wiser. At least until you're marching your army of animated terracotta soldiers down Victoria Embankment.