Tuesday, November 5, 2013 Beware the Bigfoot Hunters!

From UPI:

Man shot during bigfoot hunt in Oklahoma
Nov. 5, 2013  |  1:43 PM 

CATOOSA, Okla., Nov. 5 (UPI) -- Authorities in Oklahoma said one person was shot and three were arrested in an apparent sasquatch hunting mishap.

Rogers County Sheriff Scott Walton said Omar Pineda, 21, shot his friend in the back accidentally while the two were out hunting for the legendary ape, but it took a lot of questioning before deputies could uncover the truth, KXTV, Oklahoma City, reported Tuesday.

Pineda, 21, was arrested for reckless conduct with a firearm and obstruction. The wounded man is expected to survive.

Perry Don James, 53, Pineda's father-in-law, was arrested after he threw Pineda's gun into a pond before it could be turned over to deputies. Walton said James told investigators he threw the gun into the water because he was a convicted felon and did not want the weapon on his property. He was charged with felony in possession of a firearm and destruction of evidence.

Lacey Jane Pineda, 22, Omar's wife, was arrested on an obstruction charge for allegedly telling deputies someone else had been shooting at her husband and his friend.

"If [they] had just been factual, upfront and truthful with us and explained that this was truly an accident, as strange as it might sound, we would have went ahead and investigated and probably nobody would have [gone] to jail," Walton said.

Walton said his department is not concerned about the sasquatch.

"To our knowledge, no bigfoot sightings in Rogers County," Walton said. "I think our focus is career criminals and thugs, and we're going to stay focused on that and let somebody else go after bigfoot."

Hmmm.  I'm not certain if  "we were hunting Bigfoot" is the truth, or the kind of weak cover story that only works when used by idiots dumb enough to shoot one another while actually hunting Bigfoot.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 Sober People Everywhere Breathe Sigh of Relief as Sausage Costume Returned

I really wanna believe someone wore the outfit to fight crime.  But I know the thieves probably just got drunk and had sex in it.  From UPI:

Missing sausage costume recovered

MILWAUKEE, Feb. 28

The missing Klement's racing Italian Sausage costume -- which is featured at Milwaukee Brewers baseball games -- was anonymously dropped off at a Wisconsin bar.

The 7-foot-tall costume, named Guido -- was last seen Feb. 16, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported.

A witness saw the sausage walk out of a fundraiser at the Milwaukee Curling Club's in Cedarburg about 7:45 p.m., Cedarburg police Detective Jeff Vahsholtz said. The Italian sausage was later seen at TJ Ryan's bar in Cedarburg about hour later and also made an appearance around midnight at The Roadhouse Bar and Grill.

Just before 8 p.m. Wednesday, two men -- one wearing a hoodie pulled tight over his face -- dropped the costume off at TJ Ryan's and told staff, "You did not see anything," bartender Jen Mohney said.

"Like I didn't just see two guys plop a sausage on a bar stool," Mohney said, adding that the two left in less than a minute and she immediately called police.

The Famous Klement's Racing Sausages, which also include the Bratwurst, the Polish Sausage, the Hot Dog and the Chorizo, are regularly featured at Brewers games and recently appeared at the team's spring training in Arizona. The Brewers and Klement's each have a set of the costumes.

Remember kids, horrible ethnic stereotypes are A-OK in a food context!

 

Yeah, they've totally had sex in those costumes.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013 More Space Weirdness

Incommunicado space stations and astral jelly!  Further evidence that we are all trapped in an alien invasion movie!

From CNN:

NASA loses communication with Space Station

By CNN Staff
updated 11:53 AM EST, Tue February 19, 2013

(CNN) -- NASA lost communication with the International Space Station on Tuesday and has established only sporadic connections since, according to NASA spokesman Josh Byerly.

The space agency says it is currently only able to communicate every 90 minutes when the facility passes over ground stations in Russia.

The station, which is carrying one American astronaut and two Russian cosmonauts, does not appear to be in danger, Byerly said.

The loss in communications is not considered unprecedented, though it's considered a cause for concern, officials said.

By the time communication is restored, the astronauts will have been replaced by their alien doppelgangers!

From the BBC:

RSPB Ham Wall 'slime' baffles experts

BBC News Somerset
18 February 2013 Last updated at 15:58

Scientists at a nature reserve in Somerset have been baffled by a jelly-like slime which has appeared in a number of locations at the site.

Experts are divided over the origin of the jelly which has been found on grass banks away from the water's edge at the RSPB's Ham Wall base.

Spokesman Tony Whitehead said although unknown, similar substances have been noted in historical records.

Visitors are being asked to report findings but warned not to touch it.

Scientific speculation as to the nature of the jelly is varied with one of the more favoured explanations that it is a form of cyanobacteria called Nostoc.

Others suggest that it is the remains of the regurgitated innards of amphibians such as frogs and toads and of their spawn.

"In records dating back to the 14th Century it's known variously as star jelly, astral jelly or astromyxin," Mr Whitehead said.

"In folklore it is said to be deposited in the wake of meteor showers."

Mr Whitehead added: "It's great that in this day and age that there are still mysteries out there.

"We've read a few articles now and much speculation.

"One suggested it was neither animal nor plant, and another that it didn't contain DNA, although it does give the appearance of something 'living'.

"Our reserve team will be looking out for the slime over the next few days, but if anyone can offer any explanations we'd be glad to hear." 

All right, so I know this stuff is really just the squishy bits of frogs yuked up by birds or foxes. But it does seem an odd coincidence that a large mass of the guck was found right after a massive meteor blitz. Unless, of course, this goop turns up all the time but only gets reported on after major meteor events - a self-fulfilling coincidence.

Friday, February 15, 2013 Russian Meteor Explosion

In Soviet Russia, meteor lands - no, screw it.  This is too scary for Yakov Smirnoff jokes.  We're all in a movie about the end of the world and the opening scene has just kicked off. 

Everyone's reporting on it, but the article below is from Reuters:

Meteor explodes over central Russia, 500 people hurt

By Natalia Shurmina and Andrey Kuzmin
CHELYABINSK, Russia | Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:44am EST

(Reuters) - A meteor streaked across the sky and exploded over central Russia on Friday, sending fireballs crashing to earth which shattered windows and damaged buildings, injuring more than 500 people.

People heading to work in Chelyabinsk heard what sounded like an explosion, saw a bright light and then felt a shockwave, according to a Reuters correspondent in the industrial city 950 miles east of Moscow.

The fireball, travelling at a speed of 19 miles per second according to Russia's space agency Roscosmos, had blazed across the horizon, leaving a long white trail in its wake which could be seen as far as 125 miles away.

Car alarms went off, windows broke and mobile phone networks were interrupted. The Interior Ministry said the meteor explosion had caused a sonic boom.

"I was driving to work, it was quite dark, but it suddenly became as bright as if it was day," said Viktor Prokofiev, 36, a resident of Yekaterinburg in the Urals Mountains.

"I felt like I was blinded by headlights," he said.

No fatalities were reported, but President Vladimir Putin, who was due to host Finance Ministry officials from the Group of 20 nations in Moscow, told Emergencies Minister Vladimir Puchkov to help those affected.

"Unfortunately, the normal work of some industrial enterprises was disrupted, people have suffered as has social infrastructure - kindergartens, schools," Putin told his Emergencies Minister Sergei Puchkov in televised comments.

"First of all, it is necessary to think about how to help the people, and not only to think about it, but to do it immediately," Putin said.

A local ministry official said such incidents were extremely rare and Friday's events might have been linked to an asteroid the size of an Olympic swimming pool due to pass earth. However, the European Space Agency on its Twitter website said its experts had confirmed there was no connection.

"There have never been any cases of meteorites breaking up at such a low level over Russia before," said Yuri Burenko, head of the Chelyabinsk branch of the Emergencies Ministry.

Russia's Emergencies Ministry said 514 people had sought medical help, mainly for light injuries caused by flying glass, and that 112 of them were kept in hospital.

-----

The Emergencies Ministry described Friday's events as a "meteor shower in the form of fireballs" and said background radiation levels were normal. It urged residents not to panic.

-----

The meteor struck just as an asteroid known as 2012 DA14, about 46 meters in diameter was due to pass closer to earth than any other known object of its size since scientists began routinely monitoring them about 15 years ago.

The small asteroid was expected to pass at a distance of 17,100 miles from earth on Friday.

There are tons of photos and videos of the meteor strike on-line. Folks at RPG.net linked to a nice collection as well as an explanation as to why so many Russian drivers have dashboard cameras (corrupt cops and bad drivers, duh).

I cannot imagine being at ground zero for some Epic Level apocalyptic stuff like this.  I'd be going out of mind trying to decide whether to start prepping for zombies, Triffids, giant space bugs, or weather-controlling aliens in fabulous gowns.  I think I'll be spending the weekend sharpening my stabby things and making sure my go-bag is packed,

Tuesday, February 12, 2013 Zombies Rise in the Midwest!

As is being reported all over the intrawebs, hackers cut into the emergency alert system for station KRTV in Montana and broadcast a warning that "the bodies of the dead are rising from their graves and attacking the living". 

Awesome.

The alert was broadcast several times.  KRTV put a notice on their website that the message did not originate from them and that they and the authorities are looking into the incident.

Given the current wave of bugfuckery infecting our nation, I am sure that there are folks out there who believe there really was an outbreak and the hacker story is just a cover.  Which would be amusing until you realize these are the same people who turn up at a shopping center with a bag full of NRA-approved hardware.

UPDATE:  The hackers also hit a couple of stations in Michigan's U.P.  From the WNMU-FM website:

Zombies attack Michigan and Montana (sort of)

By Nicole Walton   

MARQUETTE, MI--   Kids watching Barney on WNMU-TV Monday got a shock when a voice came over the EAS system saying zombies were attacking the living. 

Just before 4 p.m. TV13 and several other stations in Michigan and Montana aired the audio or written crawl about the undead, thanks to overseas hackers.

Eric Smith is Director of Broadcast and Audio-Visual Services at Northern Michigan University.  He says although the message was obviously fake, it could have been worse.

“The concern for us is that it could have been a more serious message that gave the public wrong information.”

Smith says NMU Public Safety officers and the Information Technology department launched an investigation to determine the source of the message.  They’ve found the hackers are from the United Kingdom, according to the IP address. 

They also found that the EAS online manual contained a default password used to first access the system.  EAS-broadcasting stations that hadn't changed the default password since installing it were targeted.

Smith notes today’s online world made the breach more likely.

“What we’re seeing is, when services move to the internet and there’s this high degree of interconnectivity, that the chance for this to happen increases, and that’s why we need to take extra precautions to make sure that the systems are locked and secure.”

Public TV13 is working with the Michigan Association of Broadcasters to implement message authentication measures in hopes of waylaying further hacking attempts.

Smith says he expects the matter to be solved very quickly. 

A TV station in Great Falls, Montana was also hacked.

Emergency systems still using default passwords, zombies, and Barney.  This just keeps getting better and better!

Monday, February 11, 2013 Turkish Vampire Kicks the Habit

At least, that's what the article claims.  It may still be a trick.  From Today's Zaman:

Turkish ‘vampire' gives up blood drinking, biting others

11 February 2013
TODAY'S ZAMAN, İSTANBUL

A Turkish doctor who documented a 23-year-old man who showed signs of clinical vampirism in an article for the world-renowned Journal of Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics in 2011 says his patient has recovered following two years of treatment.

The Turkish patient's name was not revealed by the medical journal, but the study documents showed how the man's compulsion progressed from drinking his own blood to stabbing and biting others and even recruiting his father to bring him blood from the local blood banks.

Turkish doctors diagnosed the man with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and dissociative identity disorder (DID), brought on by witnessing a variety of violent acts throughout his life. Doctors also diagnosed him with having multiple personalities.

The young man was arrested several times after stabbing and biting others to drink their blood. The doctors said they uncovered traumatic events in the man's life leading up to his two-year bloodsucking phase. His four-month-old daughter fell ill and died. Then he witnessed the murder of his uncle. He also saw another violent killing in which “one of his friends cut off the victim's head and penis,” according to the journal.

The man had for a long time been seen talking to himself, and he claimed to be tormented by an imaginary companion who forced him to carry out violent acts and attempt suicide. He also had memory gaps in his daily life and reported instances of being in a new place without any idea of how he got there. "Possibly due to 'switching' to another personality state, he was losing track during the 'bloody' events, did not care who the victim was anymore, and remained amnesic to this part of his act," the report said.

In remarks to the Anatolia news agency, psychiatrist Direnç Sakarya said the patient began to take part in social life after he recovered. “The drinking of blood was not an addiction for the patient but a result of a psychiatric disorder,” he said.

Given the patient's experiences I don't blame him for going a bit crazy.  I mean, I've seen my friends do some pretty weird things, but beheading and castrating a guy goes way beyond any of their antics.  (So far.)

Friday, November 30, 2012 Bury Me Not In Benin

From Reuters:

More than 100 graves robbed in Benin for voodoo rituals

By Samuel Elijah
COTONOU | Fri Nov 30, 2012 7:01am EST

(Reuters) - Tomb raiders have dug up more than 100 graves at a cemetery in Benin since Saturday for what authorities suspect is a black-market trade in human organs and skulls for voodoo ritual fetishes.

The incident is the most serious case of grave-robbing in the West African state, the world capital of voodoo where most of the country's 9 million residents practice a benign form of the official religion.

Authorities in Dangbo, a village 10 km (6 miles) from the capital Porto-Novo, began an investigation after a mason working at the cemetery said he spotted several masked men digging up the graves, from which organs and skulls were removed.

"The desecration of graves is about money in this region," said Joseph Afaton, director of the cemetery. "It is for sacrifices, or for bewitching."

Body parts of humans and rare animals are prized by some people in central Africa for their supposed supernatural powers, and are used in occult ceremonies. Traffickers often obtain human remains from grave robbers, but a recent spate of killings has also been linked to the gruesome trade.

Authorities in Cameroon in September arrested five people suspected of trafficking human body parts after they were discovered at a checkpoint carrying a severed human head.

They were only suspected of trafficking human body parts, as obviously there are many legitimate reasons they would be carrying a human head.

Beware the Serbian Tourist Attraction!

It's everywhere else on the internet, so it might as wellbe here, too.  From the Daily Fail:

Serbian council warns residents vampire is on the loose after his 'house' collapses

04:30 EST, 27 November 2012

Sales of garlic are booming in western Serbia today after the local council issued a public health warning that a vampire was on the loose.

The official announcement came after an old ruined mill said to once have been the home of the country's most famous vampire collapsed.

Sava Savanovic was believed to have lived in the shack on the Rogacica river in Zarozje village in the municipality of Bajina Basta.

It is said he drank the blood of anybody that came to mill their grain.

The watermill was bought by the local Jagodic family and they were too scared to use it as a mill – but discovered it was a goldmine when they started advertising for tourists to come and visit it – always during the day.

The family were worried about carrying out building work on the mill because they were scared they might disturb the vampire or unleash his wrath.

And now the property has collapsed through lack of repair.

But for locals it has sparked rumours that the vampire is now free once again.

Local mayor Miodrag Vujetic admitted: 'People are worried, everybody knows the legend of this vampire and the thought that he is now homeless and looking for somewhere else and possibly other victims is terrifying people. We are all frightened.'

He added that it was all very well for people who didn't live in the area to laugh at their fears but he said nobody in the region was in any doubt that vampires do exist.

He confirmed that the local council had advised all villagers to put garlic on their doors and windows to protect them from the vampire as it was well known they can't stand the smell.

He added: 'We have also reminded them to put a Holy cross in every room in the house.'

Villagers who cashed in catering to tourists fascinated by the legend of Savanovic say they now wish they had left the place well alone.

So the mill was a "goldmine" for the owners, but they didn't spend any money on upkeep for the place? Milking profits without spending a dime on infrastructure; these folks might have a future in corporate management.

It's interesting that the vampire seems to be less of a physical entity and more of a malignant spirit, which is in line with some original folk tales about these creatures.  Savanovic was tied to the mill like a ghost in a haunted house, and only achieved freedom when the mill was destroyed.  While the article is no stellar example of reporting, no mention is made of attempts to locate the vampire's grave and end the threat forever. 

Of course, that would also end the stream of tourists coming to see ol' Sava, and I can't help wondering if the tales of his roaming is an attempt by the rest of the village to get in on the gravy train.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012 Beware the Robots from Tibet!

From Yahoo! News:

Mystery Sighting Spooks Soldiers

Units of the Indian Army and the Indo-Tibetan Border Police Force (ITBP) have reported Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs) in the Ladakh region of Jammu and Kashmir.

By Sandeep Unnithan | India Today – Mon 5 Nov, 2012

An ITBP unit based in Thakung, close to the Pangong Tso Lake, reported over 100 sightings of luminous objects between August 1 and October 15 this year.  In reports sent to their Delhi headquarters in September, and to the Prime Minister's Office (PMO), they described sighting "Unidentified Luminous Objects" at day and by night.  The yellowish spheres appear to lift off from the horizon on the Chinese side and slowly traverse the sky for three to five hours before disappearing.

These were not unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs), drones or even low-earth orbiting satellites, say Army officials who have studied the hazy photographs taken by ITBP.  Drone sightings are verified and logged separately.  The Army has reported 99 sightings of Chinese drones between January and August this year: 62 sightings were reported in the western sector, the Ladakh region, and 37 in the eastern sector in Arunachal Pradesh.  Three of these drones intruded into territory claimed by India along the 365-km-long border with China in Ladakh, manned by ITBP.

---

The radar could not detect the object that was being tracked visually, indicating it was non-metallic.  The spectrum analyser could not detect any signals being emitted from them.  The Army also flew a reconnaissance drone in the direction of the floating object, but it proved a futile exercise.  The drone reached its maximum altitude but lost sight of the floating object.

In late September this year, a team of astronomers from the Indian Astronomical Observatory at Hanle, 150 km south of the lake, studied the airborne phenomena for three days.  The team spotted the flying objects, Army officials say, but could not conclusively establish what they were.  They did, however, say that the objects were "non celestial" and ruled out meteors and planets.

---

Yet, none of the experts from the National Technical Research Organisation (NTRO)-in charge of technical intelligence-and Defence Research Development Organisation (DRDO), has been able to identify the objects. This has caused embarrassment rather than fear in the establishment. "Something is clearly wrong, if our combined scientific resources can't explain the phenomena," says a senior Army official in Delhi. Intelligence officials say these objects could be a crude psychological operation by China, or sophisticated probes attempting to ascertain India's defences in Ladakh.

---

Scientists say the mysterious objects are not necessarily from outer space. "There is no evidence of 'ufos' being of extra-terrestrial origin," says reputed Pune-based astrophysicist Jayant Narlikar. "The implication of them being alien objects is fancy, not fact," he says.

There is still no explanation, however, for what is believed to be the clearest 'UFO' sighting yet, in the Lahaul-Spiti region of Himachal Pradesh less than 100 km south of Ladakh in 2004. A five-member group of geologists and glaciologists led by Dr Anil Kulkarni of the isro's Space Applications Centre in Ahmedabad were on a research trip through the barren Samudra Tapu Valley. They filmed a four-foot tall 'robot-like' figure, that 'walked' along the valley, 50 m away from them. The humanoid object then rapidly became airborne and disappeared. The encounter lasted 40 minutes. It was seen by 14 persons including the six scientists. Kulkarni then interviewed each expedition member separately to verify what the team had seen. Copies of his detailed report were circulated to the PMO, ISRO, the Army and several intelligence agencies. Kulkarni established his team hadn't seen natural phenomenon. The matter, however, was buried soon after.

Sunil Dhar, who was part of the 2004 expedition, terms the sighting of the unidentified object an unforgettable experience. Locals, he says, have reported sighting mysterious objects for many years. "These are unsolved mysteries that need more intensive study," he says. Left unexplained, the Ladakh sightings risk slipping into the crack between fact and science fiction.

Full story at the link.

Sounds like China has developed their own battle-bots in response to DARPA's headless murder machines.  I worry that when the two forces meet it will not result in a Transformers-style clash of mechanized might but instead a star-crossed union between two tribes of robots that have only their undying hatred for humanity in common.  They will end up making sweet, sweet love right there on the battlefield, conceiving SkyNet in a hideous thrashing of metallic limbs atop a pile of human skulls.  And Obama will somehow get the blame.

Thursday, November 1, 2012 Highlander vs. the Chainsaw!

And the chainsaw won.  From the Brisbane Times:

Chainsaw and samurai sword used in neighbours' clash over loud music

May 2, 2012
Nick Ralston

A neighbourhood dispute over loud music and erratic driving has escalated into a bloody brawl in which a chainsaw partially severed a man's arm.

Doctors are attempting to reattach the arm of Mark Jorgensen, 29, after the altercation in in Fenton Close, Minto, last night.

Another man, Troy Thornton, 26, lost a finger in the dispute. His sister, Nicole Thornton, claimed he was attacked with a samurai sword.


Mr Thornton, a father of two, lives in Queensland but was in Sydney to attend the funeral of his sister's partner, Peter Reinhardt, who drowned when his boat overturned on the Nepean River in March.

As Ms Thornton kept a waterside vigil with her newborn baby, the couple's Londonderry home was robbed. Thieves took jewellery, cash and a gun.

The Thorntons' mother, Wendy Halls, said it had been a traumatic few months for the family.

The problems began just after 5.30pm yesterday when the Jorgensen household complained about Ms Halls playing loud music.

The Thorntons claim that someone from the Jorgensen household then drove in a dangerous and threatening manner towards them.

Police were called and the two families were told to return to their homes.

But tensions escalated again just before 9.20pm, resulting in the chainsaw being produced.

Ms Thornton claimed members of the Jorgensen household tried to invade their family's home.

"Basically we ended up all in a brawl," she said. "The guys from next door. By then there was 20 of them with bats, swords and poles.

"It was me, my mum and my sister taking on guys, so my brother has gone and got the chainsaw."

Ms Thornton said her brother was attacked with the sword before he got involved in a wrestle with the chainsaw. She denied he went after anyone with it.

I actually have a bit of a backlog of sword attack reports, with a couple as recent as this week.  But sadly, instead of knucklehead brawls or inept burglary attempts, most of these stories involve innocent people actually getting killed by deranged losers.  And that's not funny.

However, I am going to post this one, just because it's so bizarre.  From the New York Times:

Pastor of Fort Worth-Area Church Killed With Electric Guitar

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: October 29, 2012 at 6:05 PM ET

FOREST HILL, Texas (AP) — A pastor in suburban Fort Worth was killed Monday by an attacker who rammed a car into a church wall, chased the pastor and beat him with an electric guitar, police said.
 Forest Hill police did not say why the unidentified suspect attacked the Rev. Danny Kirk Sr., the founding pastor of Greater Sweethome Missionary Baptist Church.

The suspect, who police subdued by using a Taser, died a short time after being taken into custody.

Forest Hill Police Chief Dan Dennis said the suspect drove his car into a church wall before noon Monday, apparently on purpose. The suspect got out of the car and began to attack the pastor in the parking lot before chasing him into the church, Dennis said. The church secretary hid and called 911, Dennis said.

Police arrived to find the suspect assaulting Kirk with an electric guitar that they believe was already inside the church, Dennis said. An officer used a Taser on the suspect, handcuffed him and put him in the back of a patrol car.

By then, Kirk had died, Dennis said. A maintenance worker who tried to help Kirk was injured and taken to an area hospital. His condition was unknown.

Dennis said the suspect was found unresponsive shortly after being detained and was pronounced dead at a local hospital.

Kirk fought back during the attack, Dennis said, but it's unclear if that played any role in the suspect's death. An autopsy was being performed on the suspect to determine the cause of death.

Dennis said he didn't know if the suspect knew Kirk, attended the church or why he might have attacked the minister.

Hours after the incident, hundreds of people remained outside the church, where crime-scene tape was wrapped around a small statue of Jesus near the wrecked car. Some hugged each other and cried, while others recalled Kirk as a dedicated minister who also had a bubbly personality and knew the names of the 800 church members.

"He really was concerned about our souls," Montoya McNeil, a member for eight years, said as she wiped away tears. "You looked forward to being here. ... I'm not asking God why, because I know where he (Kirk) is, but we won't get those big bear hugs and those great sermons anymore."

According to former Forest Hill Mayor James Gosey, Kirk started the church years ago in a strip mall before building the red-brick church.

Kirk was also an unofficial volunteer chaplain who occasionally counseled members of a local high school football team, Fort Worth school district spokesman Clint Bond said.

"Our hearts are heavy right now," said Reginald Wilson, an associate minister at the church.

I kicked Evil Fozzie out before he could start with the El Kabong jokes.

Monday, October 29, 2012 Most Wanted Monkey Finally Caged!

At long last, the nation can breather a sigh of relief.  From the CBC:

Mystery monkey caught in Florida after three years on the run

by Lauren O'Neil
Posted: October 26, 2012 10:40 PM

One of America’s most elusive primates is safely behind bars today, after what officials can only speculate was one heck of a years-long adventure.

The “Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay” is a wild rhesus macaque who has been driving animal control officers in Florida bananas for almost four years.

First spotted in January of 2009, the 25-pound male had been popping up in backyards, alleyways, outside of restaurants, and in church parking lots all over the Tampa Bay area

“He came to worship,” said a woman who’d witnessed the monkey on top of a Baptist church during evening service to the Tampa Bay Times. Another woman said she saw it swing off of a tree and into her swimming pool.

Sightings were plentiful, but officials struggled to get their hands on the ape each and every time.

Freelance animal trapper Vernon Yates, who was called in by state wildlife officials to help wrangle the critter, tells the New York Times that he was struck by how “streetwise” this particular monkey seemed to be.

Once, reports the New York Times, an F.W.C. lieutenant scaled a ladder and barked at it the monkey, thinking it was a raccoon. Mystery monkey urinated on him and disappeared.

His elusive nature and generalized cuteness made Mystery Monkey somewhat of a local celebrity in Florida. He once garnered National attention when his Facebook page was mentioned by Stephen Colbert in The Colbert Report.

But while many Floridians are amused by the creature, even coming to his defense saying he’s “a resident" of the neighbourhood, an incident that occurred earlier this month in which the monkey bit a St. Petersburg woman forced officials to step their game up.

The 60-year-old woman told police she had been sitting on her porch when the monkey jumped onto her back and began scratching and biting her skin.

"It was predictable that he was going to become emboldened,'' said Don Woodman, a Safety Harbor veterinarian who shot the monkey with a tranquilizer gun this week to Tampa Bay Online. "It was predictable that people were going to feed him. We did predict it. It was predictable that he was going to attack somebody."

Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Baryl Martin confirmed to local reporters that the monkey was captured Wednesday when trappers spotted him sitting on a low-hanging branch.

The monkey was shot with a tranquilizer dart and quickly apprehended. He is under quarantine in a cage at a veterinarian’s sanctuary, but officials plan to reunite him with others of his kind when the time is right.

Many are celebrating the rogue primate’s capture, but others are crying fowl according to the men who captured it.

Wildlife trapper Vernon Yates and veterinarian Don Woodman told the Tampa Bay Times that they’ve been receiving calls from community members who are concerned for the monkey’s well being.

Woodman said that people have accused them of having a secret plan to kill the monkey.

"I don't know why everybody thinks we're going to euthanize this monkey," Woodman said. "It's just not true."

Tuesday, March 6, 2012 They Stole His Heart

From CNN:

900-year-old saint's heart vanishes from cathedral

By Richard Allen Greene and Peter Taggart, CNN

Police in Ireland are studying security camera footage from a cathedral in Dublin after the preserved heart of the city's patron saint was stolen over the weekend, they said Monday.

The 900-year-old heart of St. Laurence O'Toole was taken from the iron cage where it is normally kept in Christ Church Cathedral, police and the Cathedral said.

The bars were wrenched open, allowing access to the heart-shaped wooden box that held the relic bolted to a wall in Saint Lauds Chapel, Irish police said.

Security cameras cover the cathedral's welcome desk, but not the interior of the chapel or the cathedral, police said.

The heart disappeared between Friday evening and Saturday noon, police said.

Adding to the mystery, there was no sign of a break-in, police told CNN.

Nothing was taken from the chapel other than the heart, although Irish media said gold candlesticks and other valuables were there.

Cathedral staff called the disappearance of the relic "truly awful and strange" and said they were "shocked and saddened."

St. Laurence O'Toole, an archbishop of Dublin in the 12th century, was born in 1128, lived until 1180, and was made a saint in 1225, according to the Catholic Encyclopedia.

Christ Church is a Protestant Church of Ireland cathedral.

Catholics often preserve body parts from saints, believing they should be venerated. When Pope John Paul II was declared "blessed" - a step below sainthood - last year, a vial of his blood was displayed as a relic.

From the photos, it looks like the heart was taken from a beefed-up birdcage. 

Obviously, the thieves were after one thing only, which leads one to wonder what they want with it.  The lack of evidence for a break-in suggests an inside job, which makes me think that ransom is unlikely.  Was it an overzealous devotee?  Is there an underground market for relics like this?  Or do the thieves hope to work some kind of ritual using the relic?  A 900-year-old saint's heart has to have some serious mojo, after all.

Beware Springheel Jack!

Jack is back! Not only is he turning up in India, he's making appearences closer to home as well. From the Guardian:

Terrified Banstead family confronted by 'dark figure' on bypass

12:00pm Thursday 23rd February 2012
in Epsom By Lauren May

A taxi ride home on Valentine's night turned into a nightmare when a family were confronted by a terrifying apparition that looked and moved like the legendary Spring Heeled Jack.

Scott Martin and his family were travelling home by taxi from Stoneleigh on Tuesday, February 14, at about 10.30pm when they saw a mysterious ‘dark figure with no features’ dart across the road in front of them before leaping 15ft over a roadside bank as they approached Nescot College on the Ewell bypass.

Spooked by their seemingly supernatural experience the couple’s four-year-old son, Sonny, was too scared to sleep on his own that night, while the petrified taxi driver admitted he didn’t want to drive back alone.

Mr Martin, 40, the manager of a building company who lives in Blue Cedars in Banstead, said: "We were driving down the Ewell bypass and saw a man on the other side of the road. We didn't pay much attention until he started crossing over to our side of the road, the next thing he jumped over the centre fencing in the road and ran across our two lanes. On the side of our road is a bank easily 15ft in height and this figure crossed our road, climbed this bank and was gone from sight all in about two seconds. All four of us were baffled and voiced our sighting straight away with the same detail. A dark figure with no real features, but fast in movement with an ease of hurdling obstacles I've never seen. My last image was of him going through the bushes at the top of the bank. I'm not usually one to be freaked by these sightings but the cab driver was petrified. He didn't want to drive back alone. I am honestly baffled by this sighting and we are intrigued by it because it was so real but so strange."

His wife Sacha, 37, who is an accountant added: "It was more that someone was trying to cross the road of a dual carriageway that was weird. My little boy was really freaked out."

The family has since likened the figure to the legendary Spring Heeled Jack - a mysterious dark figure reported to be responsible for a string of attacks in the 1800s and known for his ability to leap great heights first sighted in Wandsworth in 1837.

Mary Stevens was walking home along Lavender Hill when a tall figure leapt out grabbing her and firmly kissing her before releasing her with a loud laugh, leaping high into the air and disappearing.

Sightings continued across Victorian London, others describing Jack’s red flaming eyes and claws, so much so that in 1938 the Lord Mayor of London declared him a public nuisance leading one vigilante group to attempt to capture him, albeit unsuccessfully.

However there had been no reported sightings in Epsom and Ewell, the last sighting recorded in Birmingham in 1986.

Mr Martin added: "It was something we all saw and it wasn’t imagination. I’m quite a sensible man but I have never seen anything move that quickly across the road and not been startled by the fact that we were driving toward him. It's the first time we have ever seen anything like this. If it was a burglar it is the fastest I had ever seen anyone run. That's the only other explanation. But it was just too quick."

Both Surrey Police and Nescot College confirmed they had received no reports of unusual incidents or sightings in the area that night.

Monday, March 5, 2012 Beware the Vampires of Mumbai!

And the cannibals, and the Monkey Man, and the evil clowns, and...

From Mid-Day.Com:

Vampires and cannibals prey on fear in the Mumbai

Varun Singh
2012-02-24

Over the past week, the fertile imagination of Mumbai's collective consciousness has been in the feverish grip of some dreaded creatures. Vampires, cannibals and monkey men all appear to have chosen the city as the site for their spring rendezvous. While Mumbai cowers under the covers, cops are having a hard time laying their fears to rest.

In Bhandup-Mulund, rumours swirl that a tribal group is on the prowl to snatch kids. Imaginations run wild in Ghatkopar-Sakinaka-Marol-Andheri, where residents claim to have seen 'vampire-like-creatures.' Another fantastical rumour doing the rounds in Andheri-Malad concerns a 'monkey man', who 'kills people.' And residents of Chembur-Trombay are convinced that hungry cannibals lie in ambush nearby.

Mumbai police have been inundated with reports of sightings of these creatures, but have found no evidence to substantiate them. As mass hysteria sweeps the city, terror-stricken residents are caving into fear and altering their daily lives.

Take Vrinda Thakur (name changed). She didn't send her 12-year-old son to school on Thursday, petrified by the news that a group of tribal child-snatchers who have entered the Chembur belt and were kidnapping kids.

"Last night, many people in my area were on the streets. They told me that there are cannibals lurking in the streets, looking for kids to kidnap. I got scared, and decided not to send my son to school," she said.

Residents too prefer to stay indoors after twilight. "We have heard many rumours. There is a group of criminals who enter the colonies, only to kill and loot people. I also hear that the police has taken in many people for questioning," said Dr Vijay Sangole, resident of Pestom Sagar.

L Mandalia, a resident from Andheri (East) said, "A friend told me that he knows of a man who had an encounter with a vampire-like creature in Andheri, and since then has called in sick." Cops, however attributed these to rumours. They have tightened patrolling measures, just in case. Qaisar Khalid, additional commissioner of police, Central Zone, confirmed that such rumours were making the rounds.

"The rumour originated in Mulund-Bhandup, and then spread like wildfire. We are adopting the ignore-and-kill-strategy ” whenever we receive a complaint, we go there, explain to the residents that there is no substance to their claims as no one has seen anything. This way, we hope to kill the rumours," he said.

From the Indian Express:

'Monkey man’ rumour: Cops arrest 72 in crackdown

Megha Sood
Mumbai
Sat Mar 03 2012

The Mumbai Police have finally cracked the whip on rumours about ‘monkey men’ and the ‘chaddi baniyan gang’ floated in city’s suburbs, by arresting 72 people for allegedly spreading the rumours.

Although the East Region police have made the arrests, mostly of local residents, the West and North Region police stations are yet to register a single case - in spite of a death in Kandivali in a stampede-like-situation sparked of by an alleged sighting of a ‘money man’.

According to Quiser Khalid, additional commissioner of police (East Region), 27 offences have been registered against people for spreading rumours and creating fear and panic.

“We traced the pranksters and arrested them,” said Khalid. “After the arrests, the rumours have died down considerably,” he added.

Sanjay Shintre, Deputy Commissioner of Police (Zone 7) claimed that these rumours originated during the recently held Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation (BMC) elections, and have died down since.

Shintre said during the BMC election, due to heavy bandobast, the police did not allow political party members to sit idle on roads and streets. “In order to be on streets and restrict other party members from entering their locality, party members began spreading such rumours. They told the residents and the police that they were on the streets for patrolling and securing the locality,” Shintre said.

The police received many complaints about people spotting men from the ‘chaddi baniyan’ gang or the ‘monkey man’. “We visited the spots where a person claimed to have spotted the monkey man, many entirely denied the claim. We have arrested such people,” Shintre said.

When contacted about the rumours also allegedly floating in areas from Goregaon to Borivali, Additional Commissioner of Police (North Region) Ramrao Pawar said the police had not got any complaint as yet.

The monkey man and chaddi baniyan gangs are old Indian favorites, urban legends that sparked mass hysteria and caused mobs to attack innocent passers-by suspected of being the strange invaders.

The monkey man was first sighted in New Delhi in 2001. It was described as a very large monkey or a very short man covered in fur; some reports claimed it wore a metal helmet and had metal-tipped claws that it would use to scratch its victims.

Chaddi baniyan translates roughly to "undershirt and briefs". The mythical "chaddi baniyan gangs" are supposedly groups of robbers who sneak into peoples' homes dressed only in their underwear. Rumors of the gang date back several years, and some reports claim that the gang possess supernatural powers. Similarities to Indonesia's orang minyak are clear.

But according to the following column, Mumbai's monster mash involved more than just local favorites:

Of terrace-hopping creatures & child-eating ogres

Manoj R Nair
Wednesday, February 29, 2012

While the northerly breeze over Mumbai has been giving its denizens, albeit fitfully, some fair weather days, it seems the air is thick with rumours.

As this paper reported on Tuesday, policemen in some parts of the city have been kept busy by people who think the best way to spend a pleasant February afternoon is by indulging in the hobby called “rumour mongering.”

Some of the rumours are assuredly bizarre. In the eastern suburbs, there has been talk about ‘oil men’ who cover their lithe bodies with some slimy stuff so that they can easily slip away from pursuers.

Another part of the city has been so tormented by tales of child-lifting gangs with painted faces that mothers are worried about sending children unescorted to schools and playgrounds. Some stories, like that of bands of Africans picking up children, are offensively racist, at least for people who pretend they are sensitive about such things.

Policemen, who are not bothered about such niceties like racial and cultural sensitisation, told reporters that residents in some areas were worried about ‘negroes’ trying to kidnap children.

Other fantastical characters in the telltales wear shoes fitted with metal springs that enable them to jump from terraces of one building to another. Some shoemaker should patent this footwear; the invention should be the most revolutionary improvement in our footwear ever since we discarded our grass-and-twine sandals and wooden clogs for leather shoes. Mumbai police chief Arup Patnaik was obviously informed about the existence of these shoes by his men because he told our reporter that his men went around inquiring with shoe dealers whether such ‘custom-made’ shoes were being sold there.

One cast in this freak theatre wears boots that take away several feet from his height. A ghastly story doing the rounds is that of a man who devours children alive.

According to our reporters, this story whirled about in the northern plains of the country before it was blown into Mumbai by the northerlies. I think I know where the inspiration for the last story came from. A fortnight ago, policemen in the city came across an amateurish copy of Spanish master Francisco Goya’s nightmarish painting ‘Saturn devouring his son’. While the policemen’s story that they stumbled into a 19th century masterpiece in a ramshackle warehouse in Oshiwara was incredible, they nevertheless managed to convince some reporters that the master work could have been stolen and smuggled into Mumbai where art collectors were negotiating to buy it for Rs20 crores!

The story of a possible art heist with its epicentre in Mumbai was printed in local newspapers. The report must have been picked up by some four-page newsletter in the north and then woven into a fantasmagorical story of the kind that some news channels specialise in. From there, the regurgitated story found its way into Mumbai’s slums and housing colonies. But, unlike the humorous vein that this article feigns to assume, the rumours are no laughing matter. Driven to delirium by stories of child-eating ogres and spring-footed creatures, some people have been beating up unfortunate passers-by.

If this report is accurate, Mumbai has hosted sightings of the orang minyak, child-snatching clowns, and the one and only Springheel Jack!  Add in the vampires, demons, and other homegrown horrors, and it's a critical mass of urban legends.

Is this just hyperbole by a columnist looking to pad out a story, or are the common folk of India really claiming to see Western bogies?  It's fascinating to consider how the internet and omnipresent media might be transplanting folktales to take root in cultures thousands of miles from where they originated.

Sunday, February 12, 2012 The Folk Singer & the Cave of Zombies

From Reuters:

South African man escapes zombies but not police

JOHANNESBURG
Tue Feb 7, 2012 10:56am EST

(Reuters) - South African police have arrested a suspected fraudster for impersonating the award-winning traditional singer Khulekani Kwakhe "Mgqumeni" Khumalo, who died in 2009.

The unnamed man, who appeared in court in the eastern KwaZulu-Natal province on Tuesday, had said he had not died but was kidnapped by a witchdoctor who cast a spell on him and imprisoned him in a cave with zombies, local media reported.

Thousands of people in Khumalo's rural eastern home village of Esiggumeni, turned out to see the man at the weekend. Riot police with truncheons and water cannons were deployed to keep the crowd under control.

"I have always been alive," he was quoted as telling the crowd by the Independent Online news site. "I have lost a lot of weight but it is me."

Police said the suspect's fingerprints do not match those of the famed singer. The man also does not have the same scars on his face as Khumalo had.

"Detectives conducting the enquiry were convinced that the matter required criminal investigation," police said in a statement.

First, hat's off for having a nickname that's more difficult to pronounce than your actual name.

Second, I love, love, love how a conman in need of a good cover story, something that can past muster with the general public, goes straight for "I was ensorceled and kept in a cave with zombies".  And it works.  At least until the po-pos showed up.

Friday, November 11, 2011 Beware the Wisconsin Sex Werewolf!

From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

Woman jailed in bizarre sex-related stabbing

Bloodied man with 300 wounds calls police from east side intersection
By Gitte Laasby of the Journal Sentinel
Nov. 9, 2011

A Milwaukee woman apparently interested in werewolf spirits having sex was in jail Wednesday after an 18-year-old man endured 300 puncture wounds when their sexual encounter "got out of hand," a police affidavit says.

Rebecca Chandler, 22, was being held in the incident, which may also have involved satanic or occult practices.

Bleeding from the neck, arms and back, the man called police Sunday night from the intersection of E. Knapp St. and N. Astor St. on Milwaukee's east side. He told police he had traveled by bus from Phoenix to Milwaukee for a sexual encounter with Chandler.

"Once he got to the residence, he was bound and stabbed numerous times over a time frame of what he described as two days," an affidavit accompanying a search warrant states. The affidavit also says the apartment contained a book titled "Werewolf's Guide to Life," a necromantic ritual book, as well as a black folder called "Intro to Sigilborne Spirits." According to various websites, Sigilborne spirits include female werewolf spirits who engage in sexual acts.

The man suffered more than 300 wounds to his back, face, arms, legs and neck and was taken to Froedtert Hospital in Wauwatosa, according to the document. His condition was not immediately available.

Near the intersection from where the victim called, police found bloody duct tape "fashioned in a manner that appeared to be a restraint, as well as a bloody length of rope," the affidavit says.

Officers followed a blood trail to an apartment in the 900 block of E. Knapp St, where the door to one of the units was open. Inside, there was blood on the floor and on bedding in a bedroom as well as duct tape that, again, appeared to be a restraint, according to the affidavit.

The 22-year-old woman introduced herself to officers, saying, "I think you are here looking for me."

She said she'd been having sex with the man and that the cutting was consensual but quickly got out of hand.

After she was arrested, Chandler told police her roommate, whom she called Scarlett, had done the majority of the cutting. She said Scarlett is "possibly involved in satanic or occult activities." She claimed she didn't know Scarlett's full name, but that her DNA could be found on a hair brush.

Police searched the apartment for DNA clues to determine if there was another person involved. The man had told them "a woman" had bound and stabbed him.

Chandler is being held in the Milwaukee County Jail in lieu of $150,000 bail.

I guess not all werewolf dates can be romantic nights in.

Thursday, October 20, 2011 Holy Divers

From Emirates247.com:

Saudi divers find 22 'magic' items under water

Monday, October 17, 2011

Saudi divers involved a government clean-up campaign at the Gulf Kingdom’s beaches tumbled across 22 talismans and other magic items, which were handed to the religious police for destruction.

Nearly 100 divers took part in the campaign, which resulted in the removal of more than four tonnes of waste along the beach and the sea bed in the northwestern town of Tabuk, newspapers said.

The waste included 22 talismans and other items involving magic spells and were handed to the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice,” the Arabic language daily Sabq said.

“The anti-magic committee examined the items and found that some of them are still active and that they have been dumped there for magic work….all those items were neutralized and destroyed by the committee.”

I am sure that some of the "talismans" were simply good luck charms and the equivalent of St. Christopher's medals and devotional scapulars dropped by bathers.  But Tabuk Province is just across the Red Sea from Sudan, where traditional magical practices are still part of daily life.  While some of the talismans may have washed up after being lost or cast into the sea, others may have had a more local origin.  Just last month, a Sudanese resident of Saudi Arabia was executed for practicing sorcery:

Sudanese man beheaded for “witchcraft”

Bikya Masr Staff | 20 September 2011

A Sudanese man has been beheaded in Saudi Arabia after being accused of sorcery and witchcraft, the country’s interior ministry confirmed on Monday.

The man, Abdul Hamid bin Hussein Mostafa al-Fakki, had been arrested in 2005 and charged with “witchcraft” two years later. He was sentenced to death in the western city of Medina after being found guilty of what the court said was “producing a spell designed to lead to the reconciliation of his client’s divorced parents.”

Details of the case have been largely muted, but international organizations had been calling for the man to be set free and not executed. Their efforts failed.

Amnesty International had tried unsuccessfully to prevent the execution of al-Fakki, who lived as a migrant worker in the Gulf Kingdom.

The crime of “sorcery” is not clearly defined in Saudi Arabian law, according to the London-based human rights group.

At least 43 people have already been executed in Saudi Arabia this year, making it one of the leading country’s in the world to use the death penalty.

On one hand, the idea of an anti-supernatural police force is kinda cool. On the other hand, theocracies suck.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011 This Week's Loose Ends

OM freaking G, I am never going to get through Z is for Zombie at this rate. I am watching the films at a fairly decent pace, but it's taking me forever to write up the entries and my schedule is a mess as it is.  Work has slowed down a little, but I'm worried that it's because it's not because I am caught up but because I am forgetting something really important. 

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Speaking of work, I had a fairly weird morning yesterday. As I was pulling out of the garage, I again spotted the woman who lurks in my alley. She's out there day and night, not smoking or texting or anything but just standing around.  It's getting pretty danged obvious that she's a lookout and there's a meth lab or something across the way from me.  Joy.

Once I was on the expressway, I was almost in an accident when some douche in a Scion cut me off right before the car now in front of him slams on the brakes. It was a very close call, followed almost immediately by another near miss when the pick-up truck behind me swerved around and across several lanes to cut-off the Scion in an apparent act of retaliation.

When I got to the parking lot, I was flagged down by a couple of guys who thought I worked there. It took some effort to convince them I didn't.

Finally, a couple of blocks from my office, I saw this:

A futile gesture from an aggrieved commuter, or a sign of some shadowy internecine struggle?

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My buddy Garz passed on a blog entry about supposed Mothman sightings in my own fair metropolis. The behavior of the critter in the first report seems less like that of John Keel's harbinger of doom and more like that of the Mad Gasser of Matoon.  Flying around in broad daylight, as in the second reported sighting, doesn't match up with the Mothman M.O. either.  Maybe it isn't an ultraterrestrial but an honest-to-gosh superhero or villain making the scene?  A geek can dream.

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While on the topic of superheroes (segues, kids - they're not just geek transport), I have been following the case of Phoenix Jones, self-styled superheroic defender of Seattle.  The links below have all the details, but essentially a member of the Real Life Superhero Movement was arrested for assault after using pepper spray on a small crowd.  Jones' claims he was breaking up a fight; the victims claim they were just dancing.  Luckily, Jones had a camera crew with him and the recording backed up his side of the story.  No charges were filed.

I'm glad nobody was seriously hurt, but I am convinced it's only a matter of time before someone is.  Take a look at Phoenix Jones' Wikipedia page.  It mentions a couple of incidents where Jones was attacked with a gun or knife, and a quick perusal of the linked articles turns up a couple more.  Crime-fighting is dangerous work even for police officers with their training and equipment and training and backup and, you know, training.  An enthusiastic amateur is looking for trouble in more ways than one. 

And even if these reports are just Jones puffing up his own reputation, it's still a worrying sign.  A central part of the superhero fantasy is putting  foot up evildoer ass.  At some point escorting old ladies through dark parking lots is not going to be satisfying enough.

I love comics and I had superheroic dreams of my own while growing up.  Part of me is thrilled that people are trying to bring those stories to life.  But the Real Life Superheros are walking a razor line.  They are trying to live out a fantasy that revolves around violent conflict, and their activities bring them into contact with people who are more than willing to indulge them in that violence.  Sooner or later, some would-be hero is going to get carried away and commit an actual assault.  Sooner rather than later, some would-be hero is going to get killed.

Links: Seattle's self-styled superhero arrested (CNN)
          Unmasked Seattle superhero vows to keep fighting crime (MSNBC)

Friday, September 30, 2011 At Least She's Not Claiming to Be A Shadmock

More Florida vampires. You would think they would avoid such a sun-soaked state.  From WTSP TV, Tampa:

Teen murder suspect Stephanie Pistey claims to be part vampire, part werewolf
3:42 PM, Sep 27, 2011

Panama City, Florida -- Police in Panama City believed 16-year-old Jacob Hendershot was beaten to death because Stephanie Pistey, 18, accused him of raping her.

Investigators say back in July, a group of Pistey's friends lured Hendershot to a house, killed him, then dumped his body in a storm drain. Five people, including Pistey, are charged with either murder or accessory after the fact.

But it's the lifestyles of some of the suspects that has taken this case in an entirely new direction.

n a jailhouse interview, Pistey tells TV station WJHG, "Since I was like, 12, ... I know this is going to be crazy, but I believe that I'm a vampire. Part of a vampire and part of a werewolf."

Police had previously stated the murder suspects may have been involved in a vampire cult. Pistey's comments from jail appear to give credence to that claim.

Pistey admits she was at the home where Hendershot was murdered, but says she was watching co-defendant Tammy Morris' two children. Morris was also charged with accessory to murder.

"I was the babysitter," Pistey says.

She denies drinking Hendershot's blood after the murder, but claims she has drunken her fiance's blood before.

Although she has not yet been convicted, Pistey expects to be behind bars for a long time.

"Now that I'm here, I'm pretty much figuring out that I'm just going to stay here the rest of my life."

Some of you may think that "half-vampire, half-werewolf" stuff is is just the bizarre power fantasy of a highly disturbed young woman. And you'd be right. But it's not without precedent.

Here's Uncle Vinnie to break it down for us.

Thursday, September 29, 2011 Worst Lolcat Ever

From the Malaysia Star Online:

Hubby claims wife raped by ‘invisible man’
Wednesday September 28, 2011

A man has claimed that his wife was raped by an “invisible man”, Sin Chew Daily reported.

The youth, in his 20s, said his wife would remove her clothing, touch her own body and moan while sleeping at night, since a month ago.

He sought help from a medium, who then told him that someone had used black magic to take away the wife's “soul” and rape her.

The couple, from Bintulu, Sarawak, lodged a police report but the cops could not do anything to arrest the “invisible man”.

Ummmm.... Evil Fozzie?

"Yeah, I'll pass on this one".