Thursday, November 1, 2012 Highlander vs. the Chainsaw!

And the chainsaw won.  From the Brisbane Times:
Chainsaw and samurai sword used in neighbours' clash over loud music

May 2, 2012
Nick Ralston

A neighbourhood dispute over loud music and erratic driving has escalated into a bloody brawl in which a chainsaw partially severed a man's arm.

Doctors are attempting to reattach the arm of Mark Jorgensen, 29, after the altercation in in Fenton Close, Minto, last night.

Another man, Troy Thornton, 26, lost a finger in the dispute. His sister, Nicole Thornton, claimed he was attacked with a samurai sword.


Mr Thornton, a father of two, lives in Queensland but was in Sydney to attend the funeral of his sister's partner, Peter Reinhardt, who drowned when his boat overturned on the Nepean River in March.

As Ms Thornton kept a waterside vigil with her newborn baby, the couple's Londonderry home was robbed. Thieves took jewellery, cash and a gun.

The Thorntons' mother, Wendy Halls, said it had been a traumatic few months for the family.

The problems began just after 5.30pm yesterday when the Jorgensen household complained about Ms Halls playing loud music.

The Thorntons claim that someone from the Jorgensen household then drove in a dangerous and threatening manner towards them.

Police were called and the two families were told to return to their homes.

But tensions escalated again just before 9.20pm, resulting in the chainsaw being produced.

Ms Thornton claimed members of the Jorgensen household tried to invade their family's home.

"Basically we ended up all in a brawl," she said. "The guys from next door. By then there was 20 of them with bats, swords and poles.

"It was me, my mum and my sister taking on guys, so my brother has gone and got the chainsaw."

Ms Thornton said her brother was attacked with the sword before he got involved in a wrestle with the chainsaw. She denied he went after anyone with it.

I actually have a bit of a backlog of sword attack reports, with a couple as recent as this week.  But sadly, instead of knucklehead brawls or inept burglary attempts, most of these stories involve innocent people actually getting killed by deranged losers.  And that's not funny.

However, I am going to post this one, just because it's so bizarre.  From the New York Times:
Pastor of Fort Worth-Area Church Killed With Electric Guitar

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: October 29, 2012 at 6:05 PM ET


FOREST HILL, Texas (AP) — A pastor in suburban Fort Worth was killed Monday by an attacker who rammed a car into a church wall, chased the pastor and beat him with an electric guitar, police said.
 Forest Hill police did not say why the unidentified suspect attacked the Rev. Danny Kirk Sr., the founding pastor of Greater Sweethome Missionary Baptist Church.

The suspect, who police subdued by using a Taser, died a short time after being taken into custody.

Forest Hill Police Chief Dan Dennis said the suspect drove his car into a church wall before noon Monday, apparently on purpose. The suspect got out of the car and began to attack the pastor in the parking lot before chasing him into the church, Dennis said. The church secretary hid and called 911, Dennis said.

Police arrived to find the suspect assaulting Kirk with an electric guitar that they believe was already inside the church, Dennis said. An officer used a Taser on the suspect, handcuffed him and put him in the back of a patrol car.

By then, Kirk had died, Dennis said. A maintenance worker who tried to help Kirk was injured and taken to an area hospital. His condition was unknown.

Dennis said the suspect was found unresponsive shortly after being detained and was pronounced dead at a local hospital.

Kirk fought back during the attack, Dennis said, but it's unclear if that played any role in the suspect's death. An autopsy was being performed on the suspect to determine the cause of death.

Dennis said he didn't know if the suspect knew Kirk, attended the church or why he might have attacked the minister.

Hours after the incident, hundreds of people remained outside the church, where crime-scene tape was wrapped around a small statue of Jesus near the wrecked car. Some hugged each other and cried, while others recalled Kirk as a dedicated minister who also had a bubbly personality and knew the names of the 800 church members.

"He really was concerned about our souls," Montoya McNeil, a member for eight years, said as she wiped away tears. "You looked forward to being here. ... I'm not asking God why, because I know where he (Kirk) is, but we won't get those big bear hugs and those great sermons anymore."

According to former Forest Hill Mayor James Gosey, Kirk started the church years ago in a strip mall before building the red-brick church.

Kirk was also an unofficial volunteer chaplain who occasionally counseled members of a local high school football team, Fort Worth school district spokesman Clint Bond said.

"Our hearts are heavy right now," said Reginald Wilson, an associate minister at the church.

I kicked Evil Fozzie out before he could start with the El Kabong jokes.

0 comments: