Showing posts with label Monkey Menace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Monkey Menace. Show all posts

Monday, October 29, 2012 Most Wanted Monkey Finally Caged!


At long last, the nation can breather a sigh of relief.  From the CBC:
Mystery monkey caught in Florida after three years on the run

by Lauren O'Neil
Posted: October 26, 2012 10:40 PM


One of America’s most elusive primates is safely behind bars today, after what officials can only speculate was one heck of a years-long adventure.

The “Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay” is a wild rhesus macaque who has been driving animal control officers in Florida bananas for almost four years.

First spotted in January of 2009, the 25-pound male had been popping up in backyards, alleyways, outside of restaurants, and in church parking lots all over the Tampa Bay area

“He came to worship,” said a woman who’d witnessed the monkey on top of a Baptist church during evening service to the Tampa Bay Times. Another woman said she saw it swing off of a tree and into her swimming pool.

Sightings were plentiful, but officials struggled to get their hands on the ape each and every time.

Freelance animal trapper Vernon Yates, who was called in by state wildlife officials to help wrangle the critter, tells the New York Times that he was struck by how “streetwise” this particular monkey seemed to be.

Once, reports the New York Times, an F.W.C. lieutenant scaled a ladder and barked at it the monkey, thinking it was a raccoon. Mystery monkey urinated on him and disappeared.

His elusive nature and generalized cuteness made Mystery Monkey somewhat of a local celebrity in Florida. He once garnered National attention when his Facebook page was mentioned by Stephen Colbert in The Colbert Report.

But while many Floridians are amused by the creature, even coming to his defense saying he’s “a resident" of the neighbourhood, an incident that occurred earlier this month in which the monkey bit a St. Petersburg woman forced officials to step their game up.

The 60-year-old woman told police she had been sitting on her porch when the monkey jumped onto her back and began scratching and biting her skin.

"It was predictable that he was going to become emboldened,'' said Don Woodman, a Safety Harbor veterinarian who shot the monkey with a tranquilizer gun this week to Tampa Bay Online. "It was predictable that people were going to feed him. We did predict it. It was predictable that he was going to attack somebody."

Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Baryl Martin confirmed to local reporters that the monkey was captured Wednesday when trappers spotted him sitting on a low-hanging branch.

The monkey was shot with a tranquilizer dart and quickly apprehended. He is under quarantine in a cage at a veterinarian’s sanctuary, but officials plan to reunite him with others of his kind when the time is right.

Many are celebrating the rogue primate’s capture, but others are crying fowl according to the men who captured it.

Wildlife trapper Vernon Yates and veterinarian Don Woodman told the Tampa Bay Times that they’ve been receiving calls from community members who are concerned for the monkey’s well being.

Woodman said that people have accused them of having a secret plan to kill the monkey.

"I don't know why everybody thinks we're going to euthanize this monkey," Woodman said. "It's just not true."

Monday, March 5, 2012 Beware the Vampires of Mumbai!


And the cannibals, and the Monkey Man, and the evil clowns, and...

From Mid-Day.Com:
Vampires and cannibals prey on fear in the Mumbai

Varun Singh
2012-02-24


Over the past week, the fertile imagination of Mumbai's collective consciousness has been in the feverish grip of some dreaded creatures. Vampires, cannibals and monkey men all appear to have chosen the city as the site for their spring rendezvous. While Mumbai cowers under the covers, cops are having a hard time laying their fears to rest.

In Bhandup-Mulund, rumours swirl that a tribal group is on the prowl to snatch kids. Imaginations run wild in Ghatkopar-Sakinaka-Marol-Andheri, where residents claim to have seen 'vampire-like-creatures.' Another fantastical rumour doing the rounds in Andheri-Malad concerns a 'monkey man', who 'kills people.' And residents of Chembur-Trombay are convinced that hungry cannibals lie in ambush nearby.

Mumbai police have been inundated with reports of sightings of these creatures, but have found no evidence to substantiate them. As mass hysteria sweeps the city, terror-stricken residents are caving into fear and altering their daily lives.

Take Vrinda Thakur (name changed). She didn't send her 12-year-old son to school on Thursday, petrified by the news that a group of tribal child-snatchers who have entered the Chembur belt and were kidnapping kids.

"Last night, many people in my area were on the streets. They told me that there are cannibals lurking in the streets, looking for kids to kidnap. I got scared, and decided not to send my son to school," she said.

Residents too prefer to stay indoors after twilight. "We have heard many rumours. There is a group of criminals who enter the colonies, only to kill and loot people. I also hear that the police has taken in many people for questioning," said Dr Vijay Sangole, resident of Pestom Sagar.

L Mandalia, a resident from Andheri (East) said, "A friend told me that he knows of a man who had an encounter with a vampire-like creature in Andheri, and since then has called in sick." Cops, however attributed these to rumours. They have tightened patrolling measures, just in case. Qaisar Khalid, additional commissioner of police, Central Zone, confirmed that such rumours were making the rounds.

"The rumour originated in Mulund-Bhandup, and then spread like wildfire. We are adopting the ignore-and-kill-strategy ” whenever we receive a complaint, we go there, explain to the residents that there is no substance to their claims as no one has seen anything. This way, we hope to kill the rumours," he said.

From the Indian Express:
'Monkey man’ rumour: Cops arrest 72 in crackdown

Megha Sood
Mumbai
Sat Mar 03 2012


The Mumbai Police have finally cracked the whip on rumours about ‘monkey men’ and the ‘chaddi baniyan gang’ floated in city’s suburbs, by arresting 72 people for allegedly spreading the rumours.

Although the East Region police have made the arrests, mostly of local residents, the West and North Region police stations are yet to register a single case - in spite of a death in Kandivali in a stampede-like-situation sparked of by an alleged sighting of a ‘money man’.

According to Quiser Khalid, additional commissioner of police (East Region), 27 offences have been registered against people for spreading rumours and creating fear and panic.

“We traced the pranksters and arrested them,” said Khalid. “After the arrests, the rumours have died down considerably,” he added.

Sanjay Shintre, Deputy Commissioner of Police (Zone 7) claimed that these rumours originated during the recently held Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation (BMC) elections, and have died down since.

Shintre said during the BMC election, due to heavy bandobast, the police did not allow political party members to sit idle on roads and streets. “In order to be on streets and restrict other party members from entering their locality, party members began spreading such rumours. They told the residents and the police that they were on the streets for patrolling and securing the locality,” Shintre said.

The police received many complaints about people spotting men from the ‘chaddi baniyan’ gang or the ‘monkey man’. “We visited the spots where a person claimed to have spotted the monkey man, many entirely denied the claim. We have arrested such people,” Shintre said.

When contacted about the rumours also allegedly floating in areas from Goregaon to Borivali, Additional Commissioner of Police (North Region) Ramrao Pawar said the police had not got any complaint as yet.

The monkey man and chaddi baniyan gangs are old Indian favorites, urban legends that sparked mass hysteria and caused mobs to attack innocent passers-by suspected of being the strange invaders.

The monkey man was first sighted in New Delhi in 2001. It was described as a very large monkey or a very short man covered in fur; some reports claimed it wore a metal helmet and had metal-tipped claws that it would use to scratch its victims.

Chaddi baniyan translates roughly to "undershirt and briefs". The mythical "chaddi baniyan gangs" are supposedly groups of robbers who sneak into peoples' homes dressed only in their underwear. Rumors of the gang date back several years, and some reports claim that the gang possess supernatural powers. Similarities to Indonesia's orang minyak are clear.

But according to the following column, Mumbai's monster mash involved more than just local favorites:

Of terrace-hopping creatures & child-eating ogres

Manoj R Nair
Wednesday, February 29, 2012


While the northerly breeze over Mumbai has been giving its denizens, albeit fitfully, some fair weather days, it seems the air is thick with rumours.

As this paper reported on Tuesday, policemen in some parts of the city have been kept busy by people who think the best way to spend a pleasant February afternoon is by indulging in the hobby called “rumour mongering.”

Some of the rumours are assuredly bizarre. In the eastern suburbs, there has been talk about ‘oil men’ who cover their lithe bodies with some slimy stuff so that they can easily slip away from pursuers.

Another part of the city has been so tormented by tales of child-lifting gangs with painted faces that mothers are worried about sending children unescorted to schools and playgrounds. Some stories, like that of bands of Africans picking up children, are offensively racist, at least for people who pretend they are sensitive about such things.

Policemen, who are not bothered about such niceties like racial and cultural sensitisation, told reporters that residents in some areas were worried about ‘negroes’ trying to kidnap children.

Other fantastical characters in the telltales wear shoes fitted with metal springs that enable them to jump from terraces of one building to another. Some shoemaker should patent this footwear; the invention should be the most revolutionary improvement in our footwear ever since we discarded our grass-and-twine sandals and wooden clogs for leather shoes. Mumbai police chief Arup Patnaik was obviously informed about the existence of these shoes by his men because he told our reporter that his men went around inquiring with shoe dealers whether such ‘custom-made’ shoes were being sold there.

One cast in this freak theatre wears boots that take away several feet from his height. A ghastly story doing the rounds is that of a man who devours children alive.

According to our reporters, this story whirled about in the northern plains of the country before it was blown into Mumbai by the northerlies. I think I know where the inspiration for the last story came from. A fortnight ago, policemen in the city came across an amateurish copy of Spanish master Francisco Goya’s nightmarish painting ‘Saturn devouring his son’. While the policemen’s story that they stumbled into a 19th century masterpiece in a ramshackle warehouse in Oshiwara was incredible, they nevertheless managed to convince some reporters that the master work could have been stolen and smuggled into Mumbai where art collectors were negotiating to buy it for Rs20 crores!

The story of a possible art heist with its epicentre in Mumbai was printed in local newspapers. The report must have been picked up by some four-page newsletter in the north and then woven into a fantasmagorical story of the kind that some news channels specialise in. From there, the regurgitated story found its way into Mumbai’s slums and housing colonies. But, unlike the humorous vein that this article feigns to assume, the rumours are no laughing matter. Driven to delirium by stories of child-eating ogres and spring-footed creatures, some people have been beating up unfortunate passers-by.
If this report is accurate, Mumbai has hosted sightings of the orang minyak, child-snatching clowns, and the one and only Springheel Jack!  Add in the vampires, demons, and other homegrown horrors, and it's a critical mass of urban legends.

Is this just hyperbole by a columnist looking to pad out a story, or are the common folk of India really claiming to see Western bogies?  It's fascinating to consider how the internet and omnipresent media might be transplanting folktales to take root in cultures thousands of miles from where they originated.

Thursday, April 8, 2010 Beware the Small Cuddly Mammal!

From the BBC:
Police warning after monkey escapes from Cumbrian zoo

Page last updated at 17:22 GMT, Thursday, 8 April 2010 18:22 UK


A search is under way after a South American monkey escaped from a wild animal park in Cumbria.

The small beige Capuchin went missing from his enclosure at the South Lakes Wild Animal Park in Dalton.

Staff from the centre, which is home to dozens of exotic animals, called in police to help in the search operation.

Capuchins are native to the Amazon basin, about 20ins (51cm) high and recognisable by a distinctive black or dark brown head with dark sideburns.

Karen Brewer from the zoo said it was unclear how the monkey had got out of its enclosure.

She added: "It's only a small monkey so it is not going to hurt anybody or anything like that.

"It will be really scared and just wanting to get back home."

Really? Then why call in the police? And why should the police thereafter issue a warning to the public? Why the big hunt for such a "harmless" creature? What aren't they telling us about this monkey?

Thursday, December 17, 2009 Beware the Kung Fu Monkeys!


From the web's most trusted news source, Ananova:
Kung fu monkeys turn tables on trainer

A Chinese man who trained monkeys martial arts to entertain shoppers was shocked when they turned the tables on him.

Lo Wung's taekwondo monkeys have become a regular feature outside a shopping centre in Enshi, Hubei province, where they were trained to show off their martial arts skills on each other.

But one quick-thinking monkey saw his chance when Lo slipped - and caught him with a perfect flying kung fu kick to the head. The rest then joined in the affray.

Hu Luang, 32, who caught the incident on camera, said: "I saw one punch him in the eye - he grabbed another by the ear and it responded by grabbing his nose.

"They were leaping and jumping all over the place - it was better than a Bruce Lee film."

At one point the monkey trainer grabbed a staff to hit the monkeys, only to find himself facing a stick-brandishing monkey that cracked him over the head.

Lo only managed to get the monkeys under control by tangling them up in the rope that had been used to stop them running off.

No, I don't believe it, either. But I really really want to.

Friday, September 18, 2009 When Monkeys Attack!

We've been keeping an eye on the Zombie Menace and the Robot Threat, and left ourselves totally exposed to the Simian Peril.
Monkey pushes woman who wouldn't share off cliff

By staff writers
NEWS.com.au
September 18, 2009 01:09pm

A MONKEY has pushed a woman off a cliff

The woman, 60-year-old Zhou Juchang, made the claim after winding up at the bottom of a seven-metre rockface, fracturing her hip and breaking three ribs.

Now she’s suing her travel agent, who organised her trip into China’s Chengdu Wildlife Park.

The monkey allegedly flew into a rage when the woman refused to hand over the bag of monkey food which her tour guide recommended she buy.

A spokesman for the park said the woman’s mistake was showing fear.

"If you show fear a monkey will bully you," he told London’s Metro.

Words of wisdom in that last sentence. Words of wisdom.

In other woman-in-peril news, do you want to see pictures of someone impaled through the neck by a tree branch? Fox News has you covered. They're still working on a way to blame Obama for it, though.

Monday, August 3, 2009 Attack of the Myrtle Beach Monkey Man

From the Myrtle Beach, SC Daily Sun:
Man used meat cleaver to fend off would-be robber in gorilla suit

by Tonya Root
Thursday, Jul. 30, 2009


An employee of the Conway location of Jimmy’s Japanese Hibachi told police he used a meat cleaver to fight off a would-be robber who wore a gorilla suit, according to a police report.

The 21-year-old Conway man told police at 11:24 p.m. Monday he was cleaning the restaurant and was punched in the head while taking trash to a Dumpster behind the business at 2635 U.S. 701 N., police said.

The man said he wrestled with his attacker, who wore a gorilla suit, and ran back inside the building, but the attacker followed him, according to the report. The man said the attacker ran to the cash register and he picked up a meat cleaver and hit the person in the right arm.

The man said the attacker then ran out of the business with the cleaver stuck in the suit, according to the report. Police are investigating the incident. No money was taken during the robbery attempt.
I'm all for copying classic comic supervillians for your criminal motif, but this guy is just doing it wrong. He was aping this:


When he should have been rocking this:

HELL YEAH!

Although, as he was robbing a Japanese restaurant, a strong argument could have been made for a simian samurai.

Keep working at it, buddy! A lot of would-be heroes need good villains to oppose!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 Things I Found Looking For Something Else #4


Japanese art-noise cover of a ska classic.

Friday, September 12, 2008 Malignant Monkey Mojo

My buddy Garz sent out this e-mail on Sunday (09/07/08):
My Saturdays are pretty normal. I go to work at 9 and come near 9pm. Sometime within the 12 hours I'm at work I sell a car or two. Today was no different. I come home at about 9:20 and I see something on the porch. I can't quite make it out from the headlights alone. I get out of the car and I see a rather large (about 2 ft high) clay bust of a chimpanzee. I had to touch it to make sure it was real. I went in the house - no note about the monkey. SO I had some late dinner and went to sleep. 5 am comes around and Linda calls me to tell me she made it to work. I ask her about the monkey, she has zero clue. 8 am comes around. I start to open up the house and take a look. Yup its still there. I make Matt french toast and bacon, while he eats I actually go outside and take a look at my new chimpy friend. It is a statue made of clay that is a chimp bust. I lift it and it is damn heavy. I'm guessing 35 pounds and it was built on a frame work of 2-3 bricks. I move it to the side of my house and give Jeff a call. I'm guessing he went to 2 brothers brewery and dropped off the monkey. Nope. I call Hecky - Nope. Tom wont come west of RT 59 and tony don't drive. According to Hecky Mikeys too lazy to do it. Linda closed teh front door about 7pm and I got home at 930.... I'm going to guess it was just a random weird thing. I'm planning on painting it like the joker for Halloween. I did ask my neighbor to see if by chance he did it as a mild prank. He looked stunned. Nope. Linda was a little freaked out become someone came on to the stoop with the kids at home.... I don't think this was meant as a hostile thing.....

None of us had anything to do it with, but Mikey had a helpful suggestion:
It's a mating ritual/gift from a female big foot.

This was immediately agreed upon by all - I suggested that the bust was a representation of what his suitor thought their baby would look like - and the she-beast was dubbed "Snatchquatch". By Garz.

Later in the week, Garz sent out a photo of the thing, proving he takes pictures about as well as he types.


We were all creeped out by it. Garz has obviously been marked by... something.