Wednesday, February 4, 2009 Happy Birthday to Me, I Guess


It was my birthday Sunday, February 1st. I turned 42.

It was my last day of employment Friday, January 30th. I was laid off after 17 years with the same company.

I may be posting here much more frequently, my imagination and energy set free by the absence of work commitments. Or I may be posting here even less frequently, mentally and emotionally crippled by an ever-expanding miasma of despair. I'd say it's about fifty-fifty either way at this point.

Thursday, January 29, 2009 Danger! Zombies Ahead!


From yesterday's Austin American-Statesman:
Sign hacker broadcasts zombie warnings

By Katie Petroski | Wednesday, January 28, 2009, 04:10 PM

Someone reprogrammed two city construction road signs near the University of Texas early Monday morning in an attempt to warn Austin of an imminent zombie attack.

Messages that typically alert Lamar Boulevard drivers to a detour for Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard splashed several warnings like “Caution! Zombies Ahead!” and “Nazi Zombies! Run!!!”

As he drove south on Lamar, traffic controller Bruce Jones saw the first sign flash the Nazi zombies message at 6 a.m. and wheeled his truck around for another look. Then he said he noticed that the second sign, directed at northbound drivers, had also been tampered with.

Jones, who has one of only two keys to the locked access panels on the portable signs, said that the hacker broke into the panels on each sign and bypassed the passwords before leaving five different zombie messages and even changing one of the passwords. Jones said he had to wait until 8 a.m. to call the manufacturing company to figure out how to override the hacker’s work. He speculated that the hacker could be a computer genius from UT.

The biggest safety hazard came from drivers slowing down or stopping their car to take pictures, Jones said.

The hacking occurred within weeks of various articles appearing online with descriptions of how to hack into these road signs — which point out that such an act is illegal.

Dennis Crabill, project manager with the Public Works Department, said the access panels are always locked and are not programmed with the default passwords these sites suggest. Short of having a watchman on duty around the clock, he said there is little more the city can do to prevent such vandalism.

“It’s a pretty childish prank,” he said.

Crabill said he is optimistic that MLK Boulevard will be open to two-way traffic again by this weekend, and the detour will no longer be necessary.

No zombies have been seen in the area, and with any luck, Tuesday night’s cold front killed off any undead with ghoulish plans to invade the city.

Via YouTube here's actual footage of the sign in action:



The photos in the Statesman story were provided by Chris Nakashima-Brown. There's lots more pictures and info at his blog, No Fear of the Future. One of his co-bloggers is Jess Nevins, author of The Encyclopedia of Fantastic Victoriana and several books of annotations on the comics of Alan Moore. I get mentioned in the acknowledgments for his second volume on The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen; I was one of dozens of folks who contributed (in my case, microscopically) to the original web version of the annotations. It's a small net.

Monday, January 26, 2009 DVD Shuffle: A Mighty Wang

I've finally started to make my way through the huge stack of unwatched DVD's I've accumulated. I'm not going to attempt to review or analyze the films in question (because let's face it, you can find better informed stuff just about anywhere on the 'net - I suggest Todd Alcott's insightful blog for a start). Instead, I'm just going to blather on whatever topics they inspire.

First up is One-Armed Swordsman, a classic martial arts epic starring Jimmy Wang Yu. I've never much cared for Wang Yu's work. I find him stiff and uncharismatic and a pretty poor martial artist - at least on screen. Off-screen, Wang Yu is much more interesting than any of his performances.

Wang Yu was a competitive swimmer who joined the Shaw Brothers acting school in the early 1960’s. Naturally athletic and capable of doing his own stunts, Wang was cast in a variety of action hero roles (including the Shaw-Nikkatsu James Bond knock-off, Asia-Pol, above) before landing the lead in Cheng Cheh’s One-Armed Swordsman. It was this role that would catapult Wang Yu to stardom.

Wang's character in OAS is a rugged, unshaven rebel, a sword-swinging James Dean, a one-armed Brando. He is the son of a servant, a poor boy on a scholarship to a rich boy’s school, treated with contempt by his colleagues and the master’s daughter. The hero seems to have little patience for them in return, or for the traditions that force him to acknowledge them as superiors. By the end of the film, Wang Yu overcomes both his social and physical handicaps through innovation and hard work, and passes over the snooty rich girl for the nice gal from the block. One-Armed Swordsman struck a chord with Hong Kong audiences and became a huge hit, followed by many sequels and a raft of imitators.

It’s hard to over-estimate the cultural impact of One-Armed Swordsman. It was the bridge between the old style of wu xia film and the modern kung fu movie. Wu xia films had typically been fables set in an idealized martial world populated by handsome, noble, and usually noble-born swordsmen. Kung fu films were usually far grittier and bloodier, showcasing working-class heroes who, if they expected to beat the baddie in the final reel, would have to earn victory through rigourous effort (typically via a training montage). While OAS is set in a wu xia world, its protagonist is the prototype for the blue collar kung fu heroes that followed.

Off screen, Wang Yu lived up to this rebellious image. The drinking and brawling were tolerated; the womanizing and illicit affairs much less so. He did end up marrying one of his conquests, a famous HK actress named Lin Tsui, but not before the scandal of the affair and the shame of divorce proceedings drove her husband to suicide. Lin and Wang would themselves divorce amidst rumors of wife-beating six years later. Wang’s second wife was an airline stewardess; when she began conducting her own affair, Wang Yu infamously interrupted the couple’s rendezvous with reporters and police in tow (adultery being a crime in Taiwan at the time).

Wang Yu's defiant nature extended to his professional life as well. Chafing under the control of the Shaws, Wang broke from the studio in a bid to gain more control over his films and the profits they generated. His first movie after leaving Shaw Brothers was One-Armed Boxer for Golden Harvest, a role that combined the gimmicks from his two most successful films, One-Armed Swordsman and The Chinese Boxer (the latter often cited as the first "true" kung fu movie). The film was a box-office success, but Wang's actions had consequences. He was sued for breaking his contract with Shaw Brothers, and was barred from working in Hong Kong as a result of the settlement. Wang upped stakes to Taiwan.

In his Hong Kong Action Cinema, Bey Logan suggests that many Shaw actors and stuntmen joined up with the Triads in order to supplement the meager salaries the studio paid out. Whether or not this was true for Wang Yu – he came from a well-to-do family and did not have to support himself with his Shaw earnings – it’s pretty much an open secret that he was “connected”. His (alleged) mob ties (allegedly) only strengthened during his years in Taiwan. This is borne out by the fact that Wang Yu was pretty much the "go-to guy" for HK actors having trouble with the mob.

The best known example of this is when Wang Yu helped out a burgeoning superstar named Jackie Chan. As he details in his biography, Chan had found himself under the thumb of producer/director Lo Wei, who was determined to turn the young actor into a carbon copy of another former protege, Bruce Lee. After a series of flops, Lo had taken to loaning Chan out to other production companies. Free of Lo Wei's influence, Chan managed to assert creative control over his films and the result was box office gold. Finding himself suddenly in demand, Chan tried to exercise the buy-out clause in his contract to accept an offer from Golden Harvest, but Lo wasn't about to let a second superstar slip from his grasp. The producer called in some Triad buddies to "persuade" Chan to stay with Lo, and things got pretty tense pretty fast. Chan's manager asked Wang Yu to broker a settlement between Lo, the Sun Yi On Triad, and Golden Harvest. The first meeting didn't go too well - the police were called in to break up the fight - but a compromise was finally reached. To this day, Jackie Chan credits Wang Yu with saving not only his career but his life.

In 1981, Wang Yu found himself in court facing a murder charge. Info on this incident is hard to come by, at least in English, so I don't know if it was related to Wang's Triad activities or his penchant for picking fights in bars. The fact that the charge was dropped due to lack of evidence doesn't really point one way or the other. In any case, in an interview included on Dragon Dynasty's DVD of One-Armed Swordsman, Wang cites the affair as a wake-up call that got him to turn his life around.

Unfortunately, Wang Yu's Triad ties (allegedly) waxed as his box office appeal waned. His Taiwanese films lacked the gloss and budget of the Shaw studios' releases, and Wang's screen fighting skills simply weren't up to the standards set by Bruce Lee and those that followed in his wake. And, as Jackie Chan said, audiences really weren't interested in seeing Wang Yu with two arms. His attempts at breaking into the Western film industry with the Bondian The Man From Hong Kong (co-starring former 007 George Lazenby) and the WWII actioner Attack Force Z (as a baddie opposite a young Mel Gibson) didn't fare much better. According to scuttlebutt, the cast and crew on Man From Hong Kong found Wang to be temperamental and difficult to work with, which helped stall out any further overseas work.

In 1982, Wang decided to try a new direction with a comeback vehicle called Fantasy Mission Force. He called in a debt to have Jackie Chan appear in the film, a bizarre, incoherent "comedy" that did nothing to help Wang's career or that of anyone else involved (including Taiwanese film legend Brigitte Lin and singer/TV star Adam Cheng). Wang gave it another shot eight years later with Island on Fire, a gritty crime drama co-starring Chan, Sammo Hung, Tony Leung Ka-Fai, and Andy Lau - apparently, a lot of people owed Wang Yu favors. Island was publicized as an attempt to raise money to build a new headquarters for the Hong Kong Directors Guild, but rumor has it that it was really to help the director pay back a heavy cash debt to the triads. The Guild HQ was never built; let's hope the director cleared accounts with the gangsters.

Aside from these two comeback attempts, Wang made only a handful of cameos and guest appearances in film and television during the 80's and 90's (though he did tally a few producer credits as well). He pretty much retired from the industry after that and has kept a low profile for the most part.

He did make a public appearance in late 2007 as one of the hundreds of mourners appearing at a top Taiwanese triad leader's funeral. Right around this time, Wang made an incredible statement to the Taiwanese press, claiming that the Kuomintang had asked him to assassinate a political dissident who had moved to the United States. Wang said that he had to turn down the KMT because he couldn't get his orders in writing, which caused him to doubt the legality of the assignment.

Let's put this into context; it's as if Richard Nixon had asked Charles Bronson to do some wetwork for the CIA. If it were any other actor making the claim I'd dismiss it out of hand. But for Jimmy Wang Yu, it's just another incident in a life as colorful as anything essayed on the silver screen.


BIBLIOGRAPHY

BOOKS

From Bruce Lee to Ninja: Martial Arts Movies (Richard Meyers, Amy Harlip, & Karen Palmer, 1985)

Hong Kong Action Cinema (Bey Logan, 1995)

I Am Jackie Chan (Jackie Chan, 1998)

Kung Fu: Cinema of Vengeance (Verina Glaessner, 1974)


FILMS

Fantasy Mission Force (1982)

Island on Fire (1991)

A Man Called Tiger: Modern-day crime thriller featuring Wang beating up lots of gangsters. My brother was impressed by the streetfighting in the film, but I just don't see it. The film is only available on VCD and a handful of YouTube clips, like this one.



Master of the Flying Guillotine (1976): This sequel to Wang's One-Armed Boxer is also a follow-up to the Shaws' The Flying Guilllotine. As in One-Armed Boxer, Wang faces off against an international smorgasboard of lethal fighters - including an Indian with abilities that will seem darn familiar to Street Fighter fans, and a blind senior citizen with a deadly beanie. The special edition DVD from Pathfinder is very nice, with a commentary track and other extras that are suprising to see in a release of a low-budget kung fu flick.

One-Armed Swordsman (1967)

Zatoichi vs. the One-Armed Swordsman (1971): Language and cultural barriers lead to a tragic misunderstanding when two Asian film icons meet. This is my personal favorite Wang Yu film, and it's widely regarded as his best screen work. I especially love how Wang's chi-powered superleaps, so common in kung fu flicks, freaks the yakuzas' shit out!

Two flicks I haven't watched but really wanted to for this article were Beach of the War Gods and The Man From Hong Kong. I've just put in an order for the new Australian release of the latter. I still have to track down a good copy of Beach, which is infamous as one of the bloodiest kung fu films ever and a movie that will convince you that Wang Yu really, really, really hates the Japanese.


WEB

WikiPedia: Jimmy Wang Yu

BBC News: Hundreds mourn Taiwan gang boss

Taipei Times: Prosecutors launch investigation into Jimmy Wang 'murder contract' case

Jimmy Wang Yu's MySpace Page! (He still lists street fighting as an interest!)

Saturday, December 20, 2008 Coal in Your Stocking

Very quick post this time out, as I am so busy with Christmas activities that I can't stop and tell you what an awesome time I had at the sold-out Cinematic Titanic show at the Lakeshore Theater Thursday night. I do have time to share yet another batch of holiday goodies because I love you, my non-existent readers.

This collection ranges from the cute to the annoying, with a downright awesome Louis Armstrong classic thrown in for good measure. Ethnic stereotype "humor" is well-represented, and we not only have a Jerry Lewis impressionist but the man himself, duking it out in a cataclysmic battle to see who can set your teeth furthest on edge.
Abboud, Mona - The Pretty Little Dolly
Armstrong, Louis - 'Zat You, Santa Claus
Blanc, Mel - The Hat I Got for Christmas is Too Beeg
Carney, Art - Santa and the Doodle-Li-Boop
Chipmunks, the - The Chipmunk Song
Colonna, Jerry - He's Too Fat for the Chimney
Count Floyd - Reggae Christmas Eve in Transylvania
Droids - Bells Bells Bells
Enchanters, the - Mambo Santa Mambo
Freberg, Stan - Nuttin' for Christmas
Grandaddy - Alan Parsons in a Winter Wonderland
King Sisters, the - Chree-see-mus
Lewis, Jerry - I've Had a Very Merry Christmas
Monte, Lou - Dominick the Donkey
Peevey, Gayla - I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
Rose Marie - Santa Send A Fella
Royal Guardsmen - Snoopy's Christmas
Shawn, Dick - Snow Miser
South Park Kids - O Holy Night
Spike Jones & His City Slickers - All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
Stevens, Ray - Santa Claus Is Watching You
Yorgesson, Yogi - I Yust Go Nuts At Christmas
I can't think of any better way to spend the holiday than by playing these songs for people you don't particularly care for.

Click on this link to download the collection via Rapidshare.

Monday, December 15, 2008 Preterite's Xmas Playlist!

Jeebus, is it that time of year already?

I love Christmas, but really hate the fact that people start celebrating it a few days before freaking Halloween. I can understand stores doing it - not approve, mind you, but understand - but when I see halfwits putting up their lawn decorations in late October, I want to start a firebombing campaign.

From 2004-2006, I was "lucky" enough to miss the Yule overload. I spent most of those holiday seasons in India on business, flying out the day after Thanksgiving and coming back a week or so before December 25th. Two weeks - dare I say twelve days? - of Christmas is just about right in my book.

I'm not getting the overload this year, despite being Stateside. Maybe it's because I'm doing most of my shopping over the internet. Maybe I've just been too busy to notice. Or maybe I've just become really, really good at tuning the cheer out. I hope I can tune it back in again when I want it.

Time to bust out the seasonal playlist. Here, in one handy* RAR file, are my favorites from that ginourmous hard drive folder marked "Xmas". I make no claims to originality - the usual suspects are well-represented here - but let's face, this season is all about traditions. So screw your indie cred!
Belle & Sebastian - Santa Claus, Go Straight to the Ghetto
Brian Setzer Orchestra - Jingle Bells
Brown, Charles - Merry Christmas Baby
Carter, Clarence - Back Door Santa
Cocteau Twins - Winter Wonderland
Cole, Nat King - The Christmas Song
Crosby, Bing - I'll Be Home For Christmas
Crystals, the - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Drifters, the - White Christmas
Eels - Everything's Gonna Be Cool This Christmas
El Vez - Feliz Navi-Nada
Fatboy Bing - Here Comes Santa Claus
Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal
John & Yoko - Happy Xmas (War is Over)
Low - Just Like Christmas
Martin, Dean - Baby, It's Cold Outside
Matt Pond PA - Holiday Road
Mogwai - Christmas Song
Ramones, the - Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight)
Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis
Saint Etienne - Driving Home for Christmas
Springsteen, Bruce - Santa Claus is Comin' to Town
Stevens, Sufjan - Get Behind Me, Santa!
U2 - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
Vince Guaraldi Trio, the - Christmas Time Is Here (Vocal)
Williams, Victoria - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Youngsters, the - Christmas In Jail
The Dean Martin track is a duet with Martina McBride from 2006's Christmas with Dino. It's a hell of a lot of fun.

"White Winter Hymnal" by the Fleet Foxes is new to the playlist this year. Let's see if I'm completely sick of it by this time next year.

The "Fatboy Bing" track is a Bing Crosby/Fatboy Slim mash-up done for a JC Penney commercial a couple of years back. It's never been officially released, but you can find the mp3 out there in the world wide web if you look around a bit. At just over 30 seconds, it makes a nifty seasonal ringtone.

It's kind of a mellow collection. But let's face it, you need to unwind right about now.

Preterite's Xmas Playlist via Rapidshare



*Unless you don't know how to deal with RAR files, in which case it's in one pain-in-the-ass file.

Saturday, December 13, 2008 Burglar Caught by "Supernatural Figure"

From the Associated Press, via MSNBC:

Malaysia burglar stuck for 3 days in haunted house

updated 10:35 p.m. CT, Fri., Dec. 12, 2008

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A news report says a burglar who broke into a house claims he was held captive by a "supernatural figure" for three days without food and water.

Police official Abdul Marlik Hakim Johar told The Star newspaper the house's owners found the 36-year-old man fatigued and dehydrated when they returned from vacation Thursday.

He says they called an ambulance to take him to a hospital.

The man told police that every time he tried to escape, a "supernatural figure" shoved him to the ground.

Abdul Marlik could not immediately be reached and other police officials declined to comment.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008 $200, a Chicken, and a Bottle of Brandy

From today's South African Herald:
Chaos as pupils buy ‘powers to become invincible‘

SEVERAL township schools in Nelson Mandela Bay say they have been hit by a storm of unruly and violent pupils who believe they are invincible after paying sangomas to contaminate them with “evil powers”.

The acting principal of one of the Bay‘s biggest high schools said parents had been approached in an effort to get them to control their children, but to no avail.

Dumalisile Makhamba, of Newell High School, said evil spirits commonly known as Amakhosi, had been “transferred” into pupils, causing them to wreak havoc at the New Brighton school. The problem had started at the beginning of the year and grown steadily worse.

Some people believed Amakhosi were transferred into pupils by sangomas, who charged R200, a chicken and a bottle of brandy for the procedure.

Makhamba said school children wanted Amakhosi because they believed they made them invincible. “The pupils assault one another because they want to test the strength of the Amakhosi.”

As a result, there had been an increase in fighting and in one incident a pupil ripped off a classroom door. “They fight a lot and it becomes difficult to get them under control.”

Makhamba said teaching had become impossible because of Amakhosi. Parents‘ meetings had been called, and teachers and principals had also spoken to the pupils to encourage them to get a sangoma to recall the Amakhosi, but without success.

Icamagu Institute director Dr Nokuzola Mndende said it was in fact herbalists and not sangomas who were responsible for transferring Amakhosi. A lecturer at the University of South Africa (Unisa), Mndende founded the institute, which aims to revive African traditional religion.

“Sangomas are called by ancestors and are not allowed to administer medicine without the knowledge of family members. However, herbalists learn how to use medicine to do evil things and are not called by the ancestors.”

Mndende said Amakhosi were a new problem. “In the old days people suffered from demons and today they are bringing back demons in the form of Amakhosi.”

Recently police intervened when six schools were believed to be affected. They were Ndyebo, Masiphathisane, Soqhayisa and Kwazakhele secondary schools and Henry Nginza and Bongweni primary schools, said Inspector Hazel Mqala.

At the time, a special police task force was mobilised to pray for the schools.

Mqala said prayer was the only solution, as transferring Amakhosi was not a criminal offence because no violent force was involved.

What's the first thing these kids do once they get superpowers? They fight each other! Who says comics aren't realistic?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some livestock to purchase and a flight to book.