Saturday, October 1, 2011 Z is for Zombies

Gathered from the depths of my unwatched DVD pile and the dark recesses of the internet are 26 zombie flicks with one thing in common - I haven't watched any of them yet.

Because I still can't trust RapidShare and their ever-changing business model, there isn't going to be much of a Halloween Countdown this year. I still wanted to do something special, and so came up with the brilliant idea of watching and commenting on one zombie movie for each letter of the alphabet. To make things interesting, I decided that they should all be films I haven't seen before.

Once the caffeine and sugar wore off, I realized what a monumental task I was setting for myself, especially given my crazy work schedule. And the brutal truth is that I have already seen the cream of the zombie crop, and thus I will be subjecting myself to a buttload of crummy flicks. Still, I want to give it my best, even if I end up stretching this past Halloween.

To make things easier on me, I will be jumping around the alphabet instead of driving straight through. I will also be adopting a simple format for my "reviews" that will keep the required input to a minimum, though of course I will still babble on when inspired by particular gems. As part of this format, I will be using the following categories to describe the monsters in each film:

• Classic Voodoo Zombies: Created by black magic, these are mindless but inhumanly strong creatures who exist only to serve the whims of their masters. They are deactivated when their reanimating spell is broken or by certain other traditional means. The most common variety of movie zombie until the late 1960's.
• EC Vengeance Seekers: Intelligent undead with unfinished business. Usually unstoppable until they have achieved their goals, they are often possessed of supernatural powers. These zombies proliferated during the 1950's in tales published by EC Comics and gave Voodoo Zombies a run for their money in the 60's and 70's.
• Romero Ghouls: Slow and stupid flesh-hungry fiends. Destroying or damaging the brain takes them down. The zombie of choice since 1978.
• Snyder Sprinters: Essentially just Romero Ghouls on fast-forward.
• Brain-Eaters: As featured in Return of the Living Dead and its successors, these ghouls are fast, smart, and virtually unkillable.
• Other: Because some of us just don't fit into your button-down world, dig?

Finally, I'll be rating each film on a scale of 1 to 5, with a "5" representing a classic like Shaun of the Dead and "1" representing the kind of movie that sells for a buck at truck stops.

So sit back and get ready to watch another human being suffer needlessly. Happy Halloween!