Monday, March 4, 2013 The Batman Meanders!

A rather laid-back Masked Manhunter has turned up in northern England, ambling into a police station with an equally chill perp.  Some reports described this Batman as "portly", which brings back sad memories of trying to find school clothes in the designated fat kid section of Sears.  From the Guardian:

'Batman' delivers suspect to Bradford police

Mark Smith
Monday 4 March 2013 07.51 EST

If Bane or the Joker were planning on moving their criminal empires from Gotham City to Bradford, they might just think again after seeing these CCTV images from West Yorkshire police.

A man dressed as Batman – evoking, perhaps, the spirit of Del Boy and Rodney more than the sleek leather outfit of Christian Bale's latest incarnation – was caught on camera bringing a wanted man into police custody.

The caped crusader marched into Trafalgar House police station, in the south of the city, in the early hours of 25 February and handed over the suspected criminal, before disappearing into the night.

Police say they have no idea of the would-be superhero's identity, though they are playing down the prospect of a real-life costumed vigilante haunting the city's streets. It is understood the body language of the two men suggested they may have been known to each other, and there was no resistance from the suspect, who was later charged with handling stolen goods and fraud-related offences. He is due to appear at Bradford magistrates court on 8 March.

A West Yorkshire police spokesman said: "The person who brought the wanted man into the station was dressed in a full Batman outfit. His identity, however, remains unknown."

The mystery has fuelled speculation on Twitter as to the identity of Bradford's Bruce Wayne, with the Bradford West MP, George Galloway, moving swiftly to quash rumours that he had donned a lycra catsuit once again: "Contrary to rumours sweeping Gotham, I am not the Bradford Batman, However I take my hat off to him and wish him luck in the future."

Bookies are even offering odds of 3/1 on the caped crusader repeating his heroics before the year's end – and 5/1 that he'll be joined by his sidekick, Robin. Famous West Yorkshiremen in the frame include Alan Titchmarsh (8/1), the former footballer Dean Windass (6/1) and the TV magician Dynamo (5/1).

I hope someone took up the bookies on that bet, because within hours the caped crusader's identity was uncovered.  From Sky:

Batman: Bradford's Caped Crusader Unmasked

7:38pm UK, Monday 04 March 2013

The likely identity of Bradford's very own Batman has been revealed.

A mystery was sparked when an anonymous man dressed in a full Batman costume handed in a suspected burglar to officers at Trafalgar House police station in Bradford.

CCTV images were released by the police in the hope of tracking down the undercover superhero.

The pictures showed a caped crusader - fully clad with the comic hero's boots, gloves and logo across his chest - standing alongside a man in a red hooded sweatshirt.

West Yorkshire police have now revealed they think the man dressed as Batman is a friend of the man who was turned in, and later arrested.

The suspect is due to appear in court on March 8 charged with handling stolen goods and fraud-related offences.

A retailer in Bradford has also come forward to say she might have sold the man his Batman outfit a few days before the incident, which happened in the early hours of February 25.

Kathryn Sutcliffe, who runs The Joke Shop in Kirkgate Market, told BBC Radio 5 Live she remembered one customer because he wanted the 1960s Caped Crusader costume rather than the more recent Dark Knight version.

She said she only sold of couple of these older outfits every year.

Mrs Sutcliffe said: "He was quite a large guy and when I saw him on the CCTV I thought, 'he looks like a similar build'.

"I was quite busy at the time. I took it out, tried it against him and he said, 'oh yes, that's fine', and then he disappeared just as quick.

"He was in his 20s, dark brown hair, a bit of stubble and quite a nice-looking lad, really."

She said the man paid with a credit card, so she has a name, but she refused to reveal it.

Batman has been around as a fictional character since 1939, usually fighting crime in Gotham City.

In the original story his alter-ego was a billionaire philanthropist who decided to devote his life to fighting crime after his parents were both murdered.

What a rookie mistake!  Sure, not every town has a Paul Gambi or Leo Zelinsky handy.  But if you're going to get your costume off the rack, use the time-honored tactic of breaking into the shop when it's closed and leaving cash behind to pay for the suit and any damages.  And any would-be hero dumb enough to pay by credit card is better off exposed before he gets himself - or innocent civilians - killed.

That said, it seems that this "Batman" isn't keen on crimefighting as much as sorting out something personal.  I hope the rest of the details come out before the media lose interest in the story. 

Friday, March 1, 2013 Beware the Psionic Rats!

Once again, scientists are hard at work giving vermin super-powers. 

The New Scientist reports that Duke University researchers have put telepathic implants in rats.  Because apparently, someone played too much Gamma World as a kid.

The world's first brain-to-brain connection has given rats the power to communicate by thought alone.

"Many people thought it could never happen," says Miguel Nicolelis at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina. Although monkeys have been able to control robots with their mind using brain-to-machine interfaces, work by Nicolelis's team has, for the first time, demonstrated a direct interface between two brains – with the rats able to share both motor and sensory information.

The feat was achieved by first training rats to press one of two levers when an LED above that lever was lit. A correct action opened a hatch containing a drink of water. The rats were then split into two groups, designated as "encoders" and "decoders".

An array of microelectrodes – each about one-hundredth the width of a human hair – was then implanted in the encoder rats' primary motor cortex, an area of the brain that processes movement. The team used the implant to record the neuronal activity that occurs just before the rat made a decision in the lever task. They found that pressing the left lever produced a different pattern of activity from pressing the right lever, regardless of which was the correct action.

Next, the team recreated these patterns in decoder rats, using an implant in the same brain area that stimulates neurons rather than recording from them. The decoders received a few training sessions to prime them to pick the correct lever in response to the different patterns of stimulation.

The researchers then wired up the implants of an encoder and a decoder rat. The pair were given the same lever-press task again, but this time only the encoder rats saw the LEDs come on. Brain signals from the encoder rat were recorded just before they pressed the lever and transmitted to the decoder rat. The team found that the decoders, despite having no visual cue, pressed the correct lever between 60 and 72 per cent of the time.

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"We are still using a sledgehammer to crack a walnut," says James. "They're not hearing the voice of God." But the rats are certainly sending and receiving more than a binary signal that simply points to one or other lever, he says. "I think it will be possible one day to transfer an abstract thought."

The decoders have to interpret relatively complex brain patterns, says Marshall Shuler at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland. The animals learn the relevance of these new patterns and their brains adapt to the signals. "But the decoders are probably not having the same quality of experience as the encoders," he says.

Oh, but it gets better: 

Patrick Degenaar at Newcastle University in the UK says that the military might one day be able to deploy genetically modified insects or small mammals that are controlled by the brain signals of a remote human operator. These would be drones that could feed themselves, he says, and could be used for surveillance or even assassination missions. "You'd probably need a flying bug to get near the head [of someone to be targeted]," he says.

So, telepathic assassin cockroaches.  Might as well give them pyrokinesis while you're at it.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 Sober People Everywhere Breathe Sigh of Relief as Sausage Costume Returned

I really wanna believe someone wore the outfit to fight crime.  But I know the thieves probably just got drunk and had sex in it.  From UPI:

Missing sausage costume recovered

MILWAUKEE, Feb. 28

The missing Klement's racing Italian Sausage costume -- which is featured at Milwaukee Brewers baseball games -- was anonymously dropped off at a Wisconsin bar.

The 7-foot-tall costume, named Guido -- was last seen Feb. 16, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported.

A witness saw the sausage walk out of a fundraiser at the Milwaukee Curling Club's in Cedarburg about 7:45 p.m., Cedarburg police Detective Jeff Vahsholtz said. The Italian sausage was later seen at TJ Ryan's bar in Cedarburg about hour later and also made an appearance around midnight at The Roadhouse Bar and Grill.

Just before 8 p.m. Wednesday, two men -- one wearing a hoodie pulled tight over his face -- dropped the costume off at TJ Ryan's and told staff, "You did not see anything," bartender Jen Mohney said.

"Like I didn't just see two guys plop a sausage on a bar stool," Mohney said, adding that the two left in less than a minute and she immediately called police.

The Famous Klement's Racing Sausages, which also include the Bratwurst, the Polish Sausage, the Hot Dog and the Chorizo, are regularly featured at Brewers games and recently appeared at the team's spring training in Arizona. The Brewers and Klement's each have a set of the costumes.

Remember kids, horrible ethnic stereotypes are A-OK in a food context!

 

Yeah, they've totally had sex in those costumes.

Thursday, February 21, 2013 From the Vault: Flash Point

I have a lot of DVD's.  Flash Point is one of them.

Sha Po Lang may get all the love, but I enjoyed it's kinda-sorta prequel a bit more.  Not least because of the blistering climatic fight between Donnie Yen and Collin Chou.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013 More Space Weirdness

Incommunicado space stations and astral jelly!  Further evidence that we are all trapped in an alien invasion movie!

From CNN:

NASA loses communication with Space Station

By CNN Staff
updated 11:53 AM EST, Tue February 19, 2013

(CNN) -- NASA lost communication with the International Space Station on Tuesday and has established only sporadic connections since, according to NASA spokesman Josh Byerly.

The space agency says it is currently only able to communicate every 90 minutes when the facility passes over ground stations in Russia.

The station, which is carrying one American astronaut and two Russian cosmonauts, does not appear to be in danger, Byerly said.

The loss in communications is not considered unprecedented, though it's considered a cause for concern, officials said.

By the time communication is restored, the astronauts will have been replaced by their alien doppelgangers!

From the BBC:

RSPB Ham Wall 'slime' baffles experts

BBC News Somerset
18 February 2013 Last updated at 15:58

Scientists at a nature reserve in Somerset have been baffled by a jelly-like slime which has appeared in a number of locations at the site.

Experts are divided over the origin of the jelly which has been found on grass banks away from the water's edge at the RSPB's Ham Wall base.

Spokesman Tony Whitehead said although unknown, similar substances have been noted in historical records.

Visitors are being asked to report findings but warned not to touch it.

Scientific speculation as to the nature of the jelly is varied with one of the more favoured explanations that it is a form of cyanobacteria called Nostoc.

Others suggest that it is the remains of the regurgitated innards of amphibians such as frogs and toads and of their spawn.

"In records dating back to the 14th Century it's known variously as star jelly, astral jelly or astromyxin," Mr Whitehead said.

"In folklore it is said to be deposited in the wake of meteor showers."

Mr Whitehead added: "It's great that in this day and age that there are still mysteries out there.

"We've read a few articles now and much speculation.

"One suggested it was neither animal nor plant, and another that it didn't contain DNA, although it does give the appearance of something 'living'.

"Our reserve team will be looking out for the slime over the next few days, but if anyone can offer any explanations we'd be glad to hear." 

All right, so I know this stuff is really just the squishy bits of frogs yuked up by birds or foxes. But it does seem an odd coincidence that a large mass of the guck was found right after a massive meteor blitz. Unless, of course, this goop turns up all the time but only gets reported on after major meteor events - a self-fulfilling coincidence.

Friday, February 15, 2013 Russian Meteor Explosion

In Soviet Russia, meteor lands - no, screw it.  This is too scary for Yakov Smirnoff jokes.  We're all in a movie about the end of the world and the opening scene has just kicked off. 

Everyone's reporting on it, but the article below is from Reuters:

Meteor explodes over central Russia, 500 people hurt

By Natalia Shurmina and Andrey Kuzmin
CHELYABINSK, Russia | Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:44am EST

(Reuters) - A meteor streaked across the sky and exploded over central Russia on Friday, sending fireballs crashing to earth which shattered windows and damaged buildings, injuring more than 500 people.

People heading to work in Chelyabinsk heard what sounded like an explosion, saw a bright light and then felt a shockwave, according to a Reuters correspondent in the industrial city 950 miles east of Moscow.

The fireball, travelling at a speed of 19 miles per second according to Russia's space agency Roscosmos, had blazed across the horizon, leaving a long white trail in its wake which could be seen as far as 125 miles away.

Car alarms went off, windows broke and mobile phone networks were interrupted. The Interior Ministry said the meteor explosion had caused a sonic boom.

"I was driving to work, it was quite dark, but it suddenly became as bright as if it was day," said Viktor Prokofiev, 36, a resident of Yekaterinburg in the Urals Mountains.

"I felt like I was blinded by headlights," he said.

No fatalities were reported, but President Vladimir Putin, who was due to host Finance Ministry officials from the Group of 20 nations in Moscow, told Emergencies Minister Vladimir Puchkov to help those affected.

"Unfortunately, the normal work of some industrial enterprises was disrupted, people have suffered as has social infrastructure - kindergartens, schools," Putin told his Emergencies Minister Sergei Puchkov in televised comments.

"First of all, it is necessary to think about how to help the people, and not only to think about it, but to do it immediately," Putin said.

A local ministry official said such incidents were extremely rare and Friday's events might have been linked to an asteroid the size of an Olympic swimming pool due to pass earth. However, the European Space Agency on its Twitter website said its experts had confirmed there was no connection.

"There have never been any cases of meteorites breaking up at such a low level over Russia before," said Yuri Burenko, head of the Chelyabinsk branch of the Emergencies Ministry.

Russia's Emergencies Ministry said 514 people had sought medical help, mainly for light injuries caused by flying glass, and that 112 of them were kept in hospital.

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The Emergencies Ministry described Friday's events as a "meteor shower in the form of fireballs" and said background radiation levels were normal. It urged residents not to panic.

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The meteor struck just as an asteroid known as 2012 DA14, about 46 meters in diameter was due to pass closer to earth than any other known object of its size since scientists began routinely monitoring them about 15 years ago.

The small asteroid was expected to pass at a distance of 17,100 miles from earth on Friday.

There are tons of photos and videos of the meteor strike on-line. Folks at RPG.net linked to a nice collection as well as an explanation as to why so many Russian drivers have dashboard cameras (corrupt cops and bad drivers, duh).

I cannot imagine being at ground zero for some Epic Level apocalyptic stuff like this.  I'd be going out of mind trying to decide whether to start prepping for zombies, Triffids, giant space bugs, or weather-controlling aliens in fabulous gowns.  I think I'll be spending the weekend sharpening my stabby things and making sure my go-bag is packed,

Highlander vs the Convenience Store Robber!

This is some Crocodile Dundee shit right here.  From Boston.com:

Robber pulls knife, store clerk pulls sword in New Bedford

By Lauren Dezenski, Globe Correspondent
02/13/2013 6:18 PM   

A New Bedford convenience store clerk pulled a sword on a man who tried to rob him while armed with a knife.

The man with the knife ran from the man with the sword, according to New Bedford police.

According to police, the assailant walked into the Lucky Seven Grocery store Tuesday just before noon, and pointed a knife at the 24-year-old clerk.

In response, the clerk pulled out a sword he kept behind the counter, New Bedford Police Detective Captain Steven Vicente said. The knife-wielding man fled the County Street store.

The clerk was unharmed and no money was taken.

Police described the assailant as a white male approximately 40 years old, 5-foot-9, heavy build, with a brown mustache. He was last seen wearing an olive green winter coat, blue jeans, and white-and-blue sneakers.

Boy, that description sure sounds familiar...