Wednesday, November 18, 2009 Your Kung Fu is No Good

WARNING: There's an image at the end of this post that may be too intense for some of you sissies. From the Seattle Times via RPG.net:

Would-be ninja impaled by metal fence

Posted by Sara Jean Green
November 17, 2009 at 7:39 AM

This never would've happened to Bruce Lee.

Seattle police say an intoxicated 25-year-old man, who told officers he believed he was a ninja, was impaled on a metal spike Monday night after a failed attempt to jump a 5-foot fence.

Around 11:15 p.m., officers responded to the 600 block of Seventh Avenue after a 41-year-old man called police to say he had been assaulted, said police spokeswoman Renee Witt. Officers arrived and found the impaled would-be ninja, Witt said.

It turns out the older man, who was heavily intoxicated, tried to go into a sports bar in the 600 block of King Street, Witt said. The younger man, who isn't a bar employee, barred the man from going inside-- and an argument between the two men escalated into a fight.

At one point, the men chased each other in the street, she said.

In an attempt to get away, the younger man "thought he'd basically be able to jump over this fence, and he didn't quite make it," Witt said.

As a police account of the incident notes, "Clearly he was overconfident in his abilities."

That's when the older man called police to say he'd been assaulted.

As police arrived to search for a suspect, one officer heard the 25-year-old's screams and found him stuck on the fence with the metal spike jutting out from his buttock, Witt said. The man was bleeding profusely.

He was taken to Harborview Medical Center, she said. Questioned at the hospital, the man told police he believed he was a ninja.

Since the two men "were in the middle of the street, chasing each other around," Witt said officers determined neither man would be arrested on suspicion of assault.

The one time I was trapped in a cemetery after dark, I had a real hard time making the jump off the mausoleum roof and over the fence to freedom. I kept visualizing getting impaled on the wrought-iron spikes. Years later, I came across this picture in the Fortean Times:


Yeah, that could have been me.

Getting in the buttocks is bad, getting in the face is worse, but a nude bather in the UK may have had it worse of all. Yes, the story is exactly what you think it is.