Friday, August 12, 2011 I Was a Teenage Exorcist

Ah, the Religious Right. It's gotten to the point where we can't tell hoax from reality from Japanese cartoon show. From that bastion of good taste, the Daily Mail:

‘We're not like normal teenagers'
Meet the exorcist schoolgirls who spend their time casting out DEMONS around the world

• Brynne Larson, 16, is one of many newly-qualified teenage demon slayers
• Reverend Bob Larson of Spiritual Freedom Churches runs exorcist school
• No set protocol for exorcisms but girls carry a Bible, holy water and a cross

By Jeff Maysh
Last updated at 6:37 PM on 11th August 2011

The five teenage girls might look like they’re in a normal class, eagerly reading their textbooks and answering their teacher’s questions diligently.

But the textbooks are Bibles and the girls all have crosses instead of protractors, as they train to become exorcists - real exorcists who fight demons, curses and evil spells.

‘People do look a bit surprised when I arrive,’ admits graduate exorcist Brynne Larson. ‘When people call for an exorcist, they don’t picture a 16-year-old high school girl.’

But Brynne, from Phoenix, Arizona, is one of a new breed of qualified teenage demon slayers, who answered a call when the Church made the admission of there being a worldwide exorcist shortage.

But despite drastic efforts, supply has still not met demand for the controversial ceremony.

The Vatican’s chief exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth, 85, has revealed that he alone has dealt with 70,000 cases of demonic possession.

‘The Church just can’t keep up with demand. But I have 100 teams of trained exorcists working all over the world, and outbreaks of demonic possession are getting out of control. Our phone lines are ringing constantly - we receive up to 1,000 individual requests monthly, and we travel to countries like Africa, Ukraine, England and even Australia'

So if the forces of darkness start getting the upper hand, who should you call? Evangelist Reverend Bob Larson of Spiritual Freedom Churches International - and his remarkable school for exorcists.

‘Think of it more of an exorcist franchise,’ Rev Larson tells MailOnline exclusively.

‘The Church just can’t keep up with demand. But I have 100 teams of trained exorcists working all over the world, and outbreaks of demonic possession are getting out of control.

‘Our phone lines are ringing constantly - we receive up to 1,000 individual requests monthly, and we travel to countries like Africa, Ukraine, England and even Australia.’

But while his teams include exorcists aged up to 70, one group of his protégées are causing waves in the religious community. They are teenage girls.

Savannah Scherkenback, 19, and her sister Tess, 16, are Rev Larson’s latest graduates from his school for exorcists.

‘We have found that our female, teenage exorcists are particularly effective at curing the possessed,’ says Rev Larson, whose daughter Brynne is a supernaturally talented exorcist.

Highly experienced in casting out demons, saving souls, and banishing evil spirits to hell, she is also a student who enjoys styling her hair, shopping and meeting her friends at Starbucks.

Those friends include trainee undergraduate exorcists, Melanie Massih, 16, her sister Christina, 15, also students at Rev Larson’s exorcist school.

They may love hanging out like normal teenagers, but they don’t watch TV like the rest of us.

‘I think Harry Potter and Twilight are instigators of evil,’ Savannah says. ‘They nullify morality and just serve to hook people in with evil.

‘I don’t watch any television at all. I’m much too busy praying and fighting the devil.’

And so on a hot Sunday afternoon, inside a modest three-star hotel in the middle of arid Scottsdale, Arizona, the blinds are mysteriously drawn around a small conference hall, and Rev Larson begins today’s class.

Our trainee exorcists may look to casual observers more like X Factor contestants than exorcists, but this is a serious matter.

The topic is exorcism - the use of prayer to remove the devil or demonic spirits – which has its roots in early Christianity, and is described by the church as ‘the act of driving out, or warding off, demons who infest a person or place’.

Rev Larson is quick to remind his pupils of the tell-tale signs of demonic possession.

‘Speaking a language that the person has never learned,’ he preaches, ‘having a supernatural strength, having a violent aversion to God, the cross and a hatred of holy water.’

While exorcisms have been taught and carried out since the start of the Catholic Church, there has never been a greater demand than today, and for the teenage trainees of the Exorcist school, today’s class is a matter of life and death.

This afternoon, a handwritten sign outside the conference hall reads: ‘Pre-Deliverance Class 4:00pm. Personal ministry by appointment.’

The Pre-deliverance classes are a beginner’s lesson, promising everything you need to know about demons and exorcism.

More at the link, including glamor shots of the more toothsome exorcists. And do my eyes deceive me, or has the Mail used Photoshop to shorten the dress on li'l Savannah in some pics?